how we feel

[nicetotalk]

HI ALL

I remember when we sorting out my mums funeral, she passed away 6th of march 2006, and the vicor said grief hits us all differently people cope or try to cope as best they can. No one is right no one is wrong in how they deal with grief. The one thing about TP is everyone understands about grief, we have never had to deal with grief untill a loved one passes over. Yes they say there are stages of grief my mum had her illness for 8 years and i never though she would die,up untill she was in hospital dying that it hit me so hard i can not explain iremember sat in the hospital canteen tears streaming down my face not caring who saw me saying to me sister, i can not watch her die, my sister and i were there at the end the whole family came and went for the whole 3 weeks she was in hospital but at the end we were both there i think shock gets you through it i was totaly numb, we left the hospital i was in total shock i find this site so reasuring 2 years later iam still comeing on TP it gives me great comfort in trying to help outhers on here.

take care everyone

kathyx

 

[Margarita]

but at the end we were both there i think shock gets you through it i was totaly numb, we left the hospital i was in total shock i find this site so reasuring 2 years later iam still comeing on TP it gives me great comfort in trying to help outhers on here.

they do say that a shock, feeling numb come from post dramatic shock . I know I also felt shock , numb after my father died , then my mother being told she had AZ , then seeing my mother sister passing away after coming out of a diabetic coma that gave her a stroke. then my daughter having a fit in fount of me .

PTSD is a debilitating consequence of having been involved in, or witnessed alarming events, from natural disasters to sudden unexpected bereavement, or even being diagnosed with a serious illness. People who have experienced a violent attack are at the greatest risk of PTSD developing.

What is it?
The symptoms of PTSD usually develop within three months of a traumatic event, although they can take up to a year to appear and must persist for at least a month for it to be diagnosed. There are three main types of symptoms:

Intrusion, the event is constantly revisited in the person's mind:
Flashbacks (sudden unwanted vivid memories, such as reliving the event)
Painful emotions

Avoidance:
Numbness and loss of deep feelings
Depression, guilt and anxiety
Retreat from relationships
Avoiding activities that may trigger memories of the event
Avoiding dealing with the grief and anger
Avoiding symptoms by 'self-medicating' with alcohol or drugs

Increased arousal, the feeling of constant threat can lead to:
Very short temper
Irritable emotions
Anger
Difficulty concentrating
Disrupted sleep and nightmares
Poor mental and work performance

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/ptsd1.shtml

 

[hendy]

Hi margarita
I think we can all identify with some or all of those symptoms of ptsd. When such dramatic and traumatic events follow each other, even if there are years between them, the effects of them can be felt as if the events happened yesterday. Margarita, I am sorry you have had to come to terms with so much sadness and trauma in your life and although we can try to come to terms with anything, you still feel the scars. They never really go away. Its just how we try to deal with them to cope with living the rest of our lives.
take care
hendy

 

[Margaret W]

Dear all,

I have read this post, and at first decided I could not contribute anything to it, because I have not gone through anything that most of you have gone through. Yes, I have lost relatives, including a much loved aunt in 2006, and my beloved dad in 2004, and my mum has Alzheimers, but is "doing okay", and I thought to myself "Why am I reading all these really sad posts", and it came to me, and you will all think I am daft, and sentimental and mushy, but I am reading them, as others read them, to see if I can help. Oh, yes, to see if the posts can help me too, but that's my own threads, reading other people's posts is about trying to help them - and there are so many where I simply cannot help becuase your circumstances are just outside my experience.

So down to the sentimental stuff, if you will accept it, but I am reading this post in the hope that I can help someone. I probably can't, but I suddenly feel that the purpose of this website is to help. So I became mindful of my favourite song which seems to be relevant here. It is the Hollies song, "He aint heavy, he's my brother". There are people on this website with desperate problems, and they come here for support, and we give it (or someone does). People don't skimp, they don't dismiss, they really TRY to help. So the Hollies' song fits us very well. "Its a long, long road. From which there is no return.... His welfare is my concern....he ain't heavy, he's my brother". So we are all "brothers" on this site.

I hope we can all concur with that.

Love to everyone.

Margaret