Hi I'm new on here. 3 weeks ago my step dad was rushed into hospital with pneumonia. I initially took time off work to stay with my mum who has dementia (and is only 58) but have since been signed off sick as I've found it so upsetting. Her husband has been so up and down, at one point being given a couple of hours to live, then recovering and being discharged the following week. Unfortunately a few days later, Christmas Day morning, he was rushed back in and it doesn't look as if he's going to make it.
However whilst this was going on, my grandad, mums dad also got pneumonia and died. I didn't tell mum the first day as she had just gone into respite, at this point, expecting her husband home I planned to tell her once they'd both been settled back home a couple of days, given it was her birthday Tuesday, Christmas Eve Wednesday etc. However she's back in respite and as it's looking like my step dad won't make it I'm facing having to tell her that both her husband and dad have passed away. I have no idea how to do it. I'm at breaking point emotionally myself and find my mums depression and anxiety very difficult. At 58 she seems too young to be in a care home full time but has never lived alone. We have been waiting for social services to put care in place but due to no availability, respite was the only alternative.
Any suggestions about telling my mum about her dad, and possibly her husband. Tell her about both at the same time? One at a time? I'm completely unsure what to do and as an only child have no siblings to talk it through with.
However whilst this was going on, my grandad, mums dad also got pneumonia and died. I didn't tell mum the first day as she had just gone into respite, at this point, expecting her husband home I planned to tell her once they'd both been settled back home a couple of days, given it was her birthday Tuesday, Christmas Eve Wednesday etc. However she's back in respite and as it's looking like my step dad won't make it I'm facing having to tell her that both her husband and dad have passed away. I have no idea how to do it. I'm at breaking point emotionally myself and find my mums depression and anxiety very difficult. At 58 she seems too young to be in a care home full time but has never lived alone. We have been waiting for social services to put care in place but due to no availability, respite was the only alternative.
Any suggestions about telling my mum about her dad, and possibly her husband. Tell her about both at the same time? One at a time? I'm completely unsure what to do and as an only child have no siblings to talk it through with.