• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

How to stop unwanted mail now that my mother has gone into care ?

Angela T

Registered User
Jul 13, 2014
187
France
Hello everyone,

My mother went into care in January and her flat has been empty since then.

Up till now her neighbour has taken in the mail and I check it regularly, but I have now decided that I should redirect her mail to my address (in France).

The problem is that she receives huge quantities of junk mail, letters from charities etc... and I don't want these filling up my letter box.

What is the most effective way of stopping all this unwanted mail ?

Should I call them, send a letter...?

Thanks for your help !
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,031
London
Don't waste money phoning them. Send the post back unopened with a note on the envelope saying "Return to sender. Remove from database" or something like that.
 

Angela T

Registered User
Jul 13, 2014
187
France
Thanks Beate.

My mother's very kind neighbour offered to call the charities etc... this week. She has unlimited free calls, so cost is not an issue.

But it may be more effective anyway to return the letters unopened, as you suggest.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
20,900
North Manchester
I find that writing 'please remove from database' on the slip requesting a donation and returning it without a stamp on the envelope works. The organisation either pays for the freepost or pays to accept the letter without a stamp. I think they pay the fee to accept it as it might just contain a nice fat direct debit.

EDIT
If phoning charities saying the person is deceased and the mail is causing distress.
 
Last edited:

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
71
Durham
Thanks Beate.

My mother's very kind neighbour offered to call the charities etc... this week. She has unlimited free calls, so cost is not an issue.

But it may be more effective anyway to return the letters unopened, as you suggest.
I have put "not at this address" and returned letters for the previous owner and we have been here 6 years and are still getting some, it might work for some people but not for me,
 

Angela T

Registered User
Jul 13, 2014
187
France
I find that writing 'please remove from database' on the slip requesting a donation and returning it without a stamp on the envelope works. The organisation either pays for the freepost or pays to accept the letter without a stamp. I think they pay the fee to accept it as it might just contain a nice fat direct debit.

EDIT
If phoning charities saying the person is deceased and the mail is causing distress.
Thank nitram !

Well it won't contain a nice fat direct debit, will it ?

Good idea to say the mail is causing distress - which is actually true...
 

Angela T

Registered User
Jul 13, 2014
187
France
I have put "not at this address" and returned letters for the previous owner and we have been here 6 years and are still getting some, it might work for some people but not for me,
Yes I suspect some charities etc... do not give up easily!
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
Yes I suspect some charities etc... do not give up easily!
I am on a lot of charities' mailing lists, which generally doesn't bother me. But now and then I am targeted by a charity I would never support - in particular there was one that kept sending me tacky 'gifts' that just went in the bin. In the end I put 'return to sender' but also added a label with PLEASE TAKE ME OFF YOUR MAILING LIST! in big black letters.
They evidently got the message - I never had anything else from them.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,871
Chester
When I redirected my mum's mail I started getting a lot of charity mail. I made an effort to put return to sender on it and it did slow down massively very quickly.

A few haven't stopped coming and I am still sending them back. A few (that she used to get) have arrived addressed to my mum at my address:eek: I presume possibly activating power of attorney or other mailing list that they have bought. These too are put back in the post box return to sender.

I realise that if this mail got to France this wouldn't work but maybe if the neighbour did this with existing ones as well as phoning up. I decided it too a few seconds to pop in post but too much time to think about phoning up.

The mail preference service only works for 'unsolicited' mail. In my mum's case I am sure she has donated to the charities, filled her address in for gift aid, and not ticked the box to say no further correspondence so is deemed to have accepted it.
 

DazeInOurLives

Registered User
Dec 10, 2009
107
East Midlands,UK
twitter.com
Hello everyone,

My mother went into care in January and her flat has been empty since then.

Up till now her neighbour has taken in the mail and I check it regularly, but I have now decided that I should redirect her mail to my address (in France).

The problem is that she receives huge quantities of junk mail, letters from charities etc... and I don't want these filling up my letter box.

What is the most effective way of stopping all this unwanted mail ?

Should I call them, send a letter...?

Thanks for your help !
Hi Angela,

There are three separate places to register to do this:
1) Mailing preference service (click to see link)
2) Royal Mail opt out service (see below for attached form)
3) Direct Marketing Association (see below for attached form)

It needs to be done every 2 years. It stops some junk mail, but obviously not the local pizza/takeaway/taxi etc deliveries - most of whose delivery staff ignore a 'no junk mail' sticker, unfortunately.

For the rest, Royal Mail redirection is effective, but expensive - worth doing for a year at a time. As letters arrive, I contact each company individually to have Mum's details removed from their database. If you are persistent it really does work.

Hope that helps,

Daze


View attachment Opt Out Application.pdf - blank.pdf
View attachment Your Choice Registration Pack.pdf - blank.pdf
 
Last edited:

Angela T

Registered User
Jul 13, 2014
187
France
When I redirected my mum's mail I started getting a lot of charity mail. I made an effort to put return to sender on it and it did slow down massively very quickly.

A few haven't stopped coming and I am still sending them back. A few (that she used to get) have arrived addressed to my mum at my address:eek: I presume possibly activating power of attorney or other mailing list that they have bought. These too are put back in the post box return to sender.

I realise that if this mail got to France this wouldn't work but maybe if the neighbour did this with existing ones as well as phoning up. I decided it too a few seconds to pop in post but too much time to think about phoning up.

The mail preference service only works for 'unsolicited' mail. In my mum's case I am sure she has donated to the charities, filled her address in for gift aid, and not ticked the box to say no further correspondence so is deemed to have accepted it.
Thanks jugglingmum, yes I imagine this will take a while - but I'll put "return to sender etc" which should stop the bulk fairly soon.

And then I'll deal with the rest as and when - either by phoning or by mail.
 

Angela T

Registered User
Jul 13, 2014
187
France
Hi Angela,

There are three separate places to register to do this:
1) Mailing preference service (click to see link)
2) Royal Mail opt out service (see below for attached form)
3) Direct Marketing Association (see below for attached form)

It needs to be done every 2 years. It stops some junk mail, but obviously not the local pizza/takeaway/taxi etc deliveries - most of whose delivery staff ignore a 'no junk mail' sticker, unfortunately.

For the rest, Royal Mail redirection is effective, but expensive - worth doing for a year at a time. As letters arrive, I contact each company individually to have Mum's details removed from their database. If you are persistent it really does work.

Hope that helps,

Daze


View attachment 45588
View attachment 45589
Thank you dazeinourlives, for the info and the links.

I'll cancel as much as possible now, then redirect the mail and deal with each one as it comes.

That should work!
 

its a struggle

Registered User
Mar 10, 2015
66
66
South Coast - Hampshire
Another method!

I have used the following when returning unsolicited mail 'Please remove me from your mailing list, any further contact will be deemed harassment and will be dealt with accordingly' Seems to have worked so far - and like others, the response always goes in their return envelope unstamped.
 

Angela T

Registered User
Jul 13, 2014
187
France
Thank you, it's a struggle, for another method!

With all these tips, I should at least reduce the flow of unwanted mail into my mother's letter box, and then I can redirect her mail to my (much smaller) letter box.

Thanks to all for your replies.