How to put together a history of Mum's last days in Care home

[jeffers63]

Hello,
My Mother died recently while in Care and I don't feel I have any idea of how her life ended as feedback from the home was minimal and because of Covid restrictions I could not travel to see her. In fact, I have not been able to see her for over a year! I only know that Mum died without her family around her and that she was asking where I was. It is a thing that is going to haunt me. She had advanced Vascular Dementia and the whole situation must have been very confusing for her.

I am going to apply for Mum's NHS medical records, but for completeness, I would like to get hold of whatever the Care Homes (she stayed in two since Xmas 2020) hold on her.
Can anyone tell me what records I can apply for and how I go about this?

regards
Geoff

 

[margherita]

Hi @jeffers63 ,
You have the right to know.
Have you tried to speak to the managers of the care homes?
Here in Italy there is an association in defence of the patients ' rights. I suppose you can find something similar in the UK. They might help you.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Before you start, may I ask what you hope to achieve by obtaining the records? My own experience of care home records is that they are scant, to say the least and really won't tell you much. If anything it might increase your sense of 'not knowing'.

Your story is incredibly sad. My mum also died from VD (mixed actually) but nothing 'major' happened to hasten her death. She was 'not herself' for a couple of weeks and seemed to suddenly withdraw inside herself. An infection was suspected but never really confirmed. Then I got a call one morning to say she'd stopped breathing.

Dementia is terminal, it always ends in death. I fully appreciate that you are seeking some sort of closure but I really don't think your mum's NHS/care home records will shed any more light on how her life ended. Instead, you might want to to write to her final care home and ask the manager to give you an account of her last weeks/days.