How to keep occupied?

Olivia15

Registered User
Feb 24, 2016
38
0
Does anyone have any suggestions on tips for keeping a loved one living with dementia occupied when they can no longer read/follow conversation?
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
On the three days my husband goes to day centre he is kept very busy with a variety if activities which tire him out by the time he gets home . The remaining four days I find a hard task especially as John's bad knee prevents us going the long walks we would have done in past. So we go to the Botanic Gardens, Art Galleries and Museums. We probably spend more time in the tea room than anywhere else. I buy the newspapers so that when we stop for tea we have something to occupy us.

At home I get him to do little tasks like sweeping the paths. We have gone to Alzheimers groups for football memories, singing, allotments etc. I try to accept all invitations to events from them such as Memory walks, Burns supper etc.

While John is occupied he is not a problem but if he has nothing to do that is when he is likely to want to wander - big problem!
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,179
0
London
Jigsaws, painting, colouring in and sorting playing cards. Hours of fun. They also do baking, gardening, quizzes, bowling and armchair exercise at his day centre.
 

Owly

Registered User
Jun 6, 2011
537
0
Picture books of any kind, perhaps the books by Robert Opie with scenes of the 40s, 50s, 60s, etc.

Charity shops are a great and cheap place to find numerous picture books. I used to buy Mum children's books with pictures and diagrams, especially on Geography or History. My brother gave her a book of 'lovely gardens' pictures. I got her a book on fabulous, crazy looking trees in different countries of the world. I even bought her Rupert Bear annuals. :D

Whatever they used to be interested in, they can still absorb and enjoy pictures of those things and perhaps even "remember" a little of the past through them. Just a week before she died, Mum was enjoying a book (pictures and text) about the 1940s even though she was inclined to very little speech by then.
 

mancmum

Registered User
Feb 6, 2012
404
0
Lino cutting and using a glass etcher

My dad dismissed metallic scraper board as something for old people but loved glass etching ...scratching patterns on glasses, jam jars anything. Its a like a biro with a diamond tipped nib. NOt expensive.

Lino cutting is going well at the moment. Pictures are not what he would like but its the chopping up that gives him a lot of pleasure.

Books about his old home town are good.
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,122
0
eastern USA
Does anyone have any suggestions on tips for keeping a loved one living with dementia occupied when they can no longer read/follow conversation?

We used picture books with my mother, stuffed animals she had already collected in previous years, and laptops with live birdcams on them, often two at a time. For her evening hours/overnights, we used 10-hour videos of ocean waves hitting the shore. She loved them. They helped her find something to focus on. Some of the ocean tapes have music. These disturbed her. The ones that worked simply had the ocean's natural sounds on the video.

My mother loved the live bird cameras. I had already taken to calling her my little chickadee (when I had to roll her into her bed at night), so this seemed a natural extension of an ongoing conversation we were having.

Smile at her, hold her hand, tell her what a good mom she was. These things mattered a lot to my mother at this stage . . . .
 

tigerlady

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
427
0
We used picture books with my mother, stuffed animals she had already collected in previous years, and laptops with live birdcams on them, often two at a time. For her evening hours/overnights, we used 10-hour videos of ocean waves hitting the shore. She loved them. They helped her find something to focus on. Some of the ocean tapes have music. These disturbed her. The ones that worked simply had the ocean's natural sounds on the video.

My mother loved the live bird cameras. I had already taken to calling her my little chickadee (when I had to roll her into her bed at night), so this seemed a natural extension of an ongoing conversation we were having.

Smile at her, hold her hand, tell her what a good mom she was. These things mattered a lot to my mother at this stage . . . .

I was very interested in this reply regarding the 10 hour videos (I assume they are DVD's) of waves hitting the shore. I feel this would be beneficial to my husband who was brought up in a seaside town and it might make him feel calmer and more settled. Do you know anywhere in the UK I could get them?
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,122
0
eastern USA
I was very interested in this reply regarding the 10 hour videos (I assume they are DVD's) of waves hitting the shore. I feel this would be beneficial to my husband who was brought up in a seaside town and it might make him feel calmer and more settled. Do you know anywhere in the UK I could get them?

Hello. They are available online. I'd just set up the laptop right near her side or right in front of her, get it rolling, and off she'd go watching the waves. Some nights she didn't want it, but most night, when I asked her, shall I turn on the ocean? she would say "Yes." It gave her great comfort. I'll go find some of the links and post them here in another message. My usual search terms were "ocean waves no music" and many links came up. But I'll show you the two that she liked the most. She had loved the ocean waves when I was a girl.
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,122
0
eastern USA
Hello. They are available online. I'd just set up the laptop right near her side or right in front of her, get it rolling, and off she'd go watching the waves. Some nights she didn't want it, but most night, when I asked her, shall I turn on the ocean? she would say "Yes." It gave her great comfort. I'll go find some of the links and post them here in another message. My usual search terms were "ocean waves no music" and many links came up. But I'll show you the two that she liked the most. She had loved the ocean waves when I was a girl.

Okay. This one was my mother's absolute favorite. Eventually people walk by, surfers show up, dogs drop by with their humans. She loved it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqCQM8OM9dA

She also liked this one, but she always loved the one above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F-F8-qHmq0

They are free, online YouTube videos. You can also buy DVDs of them from different groups.
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,122
0
eastern USA
I was very interested in this reply regarding the 10 hour videos (I assume they are DVD's) of waves hitting the shore. I feel this would be beneficial to my husband who was brought up in a seaside town and it might make him feel calmer and more settled. Do you know anywhere in the UK I could get them?

I want to add that I did many searches and came up with many free online videos. I think I found one that was of Dover, but I didn't bookmark it, so I don't have it.

You might look under search terms, "ocean waves" "online video" "England coast" and see what comes up.
 

Olivia15

Registered User
Feb 24, 2016
38
0
We used picture books with my mother, stuffed animals she had already collected in previous years, and laptops with live birdcams on them, often two at a time. For her evening hours/overnights, we used 10-hour videos of ocean waves hitting the shore. She loved them. They helped her find something to focus on. Some of the ocean tapes have music. These disturbed her. The ones that worked simply had the ocean's natural sounds on the video.

My mother loved the live bird cameras. I had already taken to calling her my little chickadee (when I had to roll her into her bed at night), so this seemed a natural extension of an ongoing conversation we were having.

Smile at her, hold her hand, tell her what a good mom she was. These things mattered a lot to my mother at this stage . . . .

That's a lovely idea! My mum grew up by the sea so this is definitely worth a go :)
 

cat64

Registered User
Sep 1, 2014
45
0
Picture books of any kind, perhaps the books by Robert Opie with scenes of the 40s, 50s, 60s, etc.

Charity shops are a great and cheap place to find numerous picture books. I used to buy Mum children's books with pictures and diagrams, especially on Geography or History. My brother gave her a book of 'lovely gardens' pictures. I got her a book on fabulous, crazy looking trees in different countries of the world. I even bought her Rupert Bear annuals. :D

Whatever they used to be interested in, they can still absorb and enjoy pictures of those things and perhaps even "remember" a little of the past through them. Just a week before she died, Mum was enjoying a book (pictures and text) about the 1940s even though she was inclined to very little speech by then.

thanks for the recommendation of the robert opie books.......Im just ordering one for my mum and posssibly one for her care home too.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,725
0
Okay. This one was my mother's absolute favorite. Eventually people walk by, surfers show up, dogs drop by with their humans. She loved it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqCQM8OM9dA

She also liked this one, but she always loved the one above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F-F8-qHmq0

They are free, online YouTube videos. You can also buy DVDs of them from different groups.

These are absolutely brilliant thank you , I am going to share them in my carers group
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,122
0
eastern USA
So glad to have been helpful. Having learned so much across the nine years I cared for my mother, I feel it's time to share some of what I have put together for our particular circumstances.

There are, by the way, bird videos (tho I didn't find long ones), and waterfall videos, if your loved ones were/are birders or woods walkers.

I wish my mother were here so I could set up one of those videos for her.
 

AmeliaM

Registered User
Mar 22, 2016
19
0
So glad to have been helpful. Having learned so much across the nine years I cared for my mother, I feel it's time to share some of what I have put together for our particular circumstances.

There are, by the way, bird videos (tho I didn't find long ones), and waterfall videos, if your loved ones were/are birders or woods walkers.

I wish my mother were here so I could set up one of those videos for her.

Hi,

Have looked on line for Robert Opie and there is a book Children Childhood and English Society do you think this would be suitable does it have plenty of pictures. If not please could anyone recommend one so I can order it?

Many thanks
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,122
0
eastern USA
Hi,

Have looked on line for Robert Opie and there is a book Children Childhood and English Society do you think this would be suitable does it have plenty of pictures. If not please could anyone recommend one so I can order it?

Many thanks

Hello. I don't know those, but I can say that we tried a few. We first tried this one -

The Sunshine on My Face, A Read-Aloud Book for Memory-Challenged Adults, by Lydia Burdick -

and while my mother read with us, even reading some of the lines, it didn't give her too much happy stimulation.

The two she loved were:

Kate and Pippin, an Unlikely Love Story, by Martin Springett with photos by Isobel Springett (about a dog and a fawn who loved one another),

and

her all-time favorite,

A Walk in the Garden, an illustrated journey with verse, a "Very Large Print" edition. My mother loved this book, because she loved gardens and talking about her own houseplants.

She did love houseplants, so we would get her ones that were flowering and swap them out when they stopped flowering. I also took slips and grew her some and we would check them now and again.

For the reading, you really do have to be there interacting with your loved one and talking with them. I used to try to draw out the images by telling my mother how lovely it was that we did this or that. I did "I remember when" storytelling with her at times, telling her my memory and always trying to weave in a part about what she did and how loved she was and what a good mother she was. This time made her feel very warm inside, when she was "with" me. It made her feel good, and it made me feel good, too, to see her respond.

We also used two magazines at times, one called Reminisce (a US journal, I think) and one that was a publication of the Audubon Society (again in the US, but you could probably get it elsewhere).

I hope this helps.
 

AmeliaM

Registered User
Mar 22, 2016
19
0
Thats brilliant thankyou. Your mum was very lucky to have you as such a loving caring daughter. hope i can stay strong and do as well.
Much appreciated.
ameliam
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,122
0
eastern USA
Thats brilliant thankyou. Your mum was very lucky to have you as such a loving caring daughter. hope i can stay strong and do as well.
Much appreciated.
ameliam

Thank you for your kindness. I don't miss the difficult days, but I'd give anything to have back the days when we could sit, read together, laugh, cry, tell stories, and enjoy each other's company.
 

whileaway

Registered User
Dec 11, 2015
129
0
Does anyone have any suggestions on tips for keeping a loved one living with dementia occupied when they can no longer read/follow conversation?

What a fantastic Post! O thank you!
Apologies for what follows!

This is a Huge problem for me and my Mum, as my once "insatiably curious, project-oriented, gadget-loving, gregarious father who, was mad for traveling (with family)in his volkswagon camper, who gardened avidly, DIY'd the house, ran the business side of things, and was a real charmer, went from that to not driving, to not moving much, (a fall, a broken bone) ,being not allowed to use the remote, as he would bother the neighbors, and watching endless documentaries on cable, which fascinated him. Lately, he is not able to follow them and wants to talk about things they remind him of. He still wants to watch the news, but we must explain it all to him, and he can't hold on to that, even.
Two years ago I read him Kipling's Kim, and all the astronomy bits from "Age of Wonder", but now he gets lost. I will do simpler books! I haven't tried talking books, thinking they wouldn't work.
He can't read by himself, not for years. He's had Macular degeneration, and one eye is supposed to be adequate. Apparently he can see better than he can 'process' the images (more than three letters is a muddle). When he goes to church, he cannot make sense out the hubbub of people, and they leave him alone. He is still charming, but needs one on one attention. He has stopped going to church.

I don't think talking books or picture books will work, as his processing of thoughts, and images is going. Music is the saving grace. He loves the music from his early days particularly. It reaches him as nothing else!
I am imagining making him a playlist, like an ipod one, but on a tablet, with clips from youtube of music and also video-(and lectures, which my mother would be interested in) -maybe having this all on a big telly screen that works on bluetooth and wireless headphones. My mother can't cope with gadgets, however. I wonder about running her computer remotely and putting the YouTube things on from my house.

This is hard on my mother of course. She copes by bringing him treats from the kitchen all day, and leaving him in front of the telly. She is 91 and dresses him, bathes him, cooks, and is worn down by being housebound, unable to leave him for more than an hour or so.
I am visiting. I am overwhelmed and weak and ineffective & depressed at this time.
We can not fathom putting him in a home. He is loving and courteous and reasonable, so it is easy to have him here. But we fail, selfishly, to engage him for the entire day. He is utterly dependent on our whims, and time, and energy, to amuse him. Poor Dears! The both of them!
 
Last edited: