Hi am desperate to try n help my friends mum who has recently been diagnosed with dementia. Her husband passed away at Christmas and he used to care for her my friend moved her in with her but she kept wondering around the village n became violent towards her daughter with her grief and confusion my friend has a six month old baby and it was decided her mum had to move back home or a care home . She couldn't cope home alone so has been in a care for for respite care for four weeks but is so distressed and scared. How can I help it's very upsetting? Would it help to have her own belongings with her make her room more like her own? Should I talk bout the past to try n settle her? Just feel helpless. This lady was always there for me and I want to help her.
How to help
- Thread starter Jntsjanet
- Start date
Welcome to TP.
As pratical advise I would show TP to your friend.
About the CH room. Maybe something familiar can help her to settle, but be aware that things can be lost or damaged on CH, so I advise against anything that cause worry if lost. (My mother's room has copy of pictures- so we could replace them when missed)
As pratical advise I would show TP to your friend.
About the CH room. Maybe something familiar can help her to settle, but be aware that things can be lost or damaged on CH, so I advise against anything that cause worry if lost. (My mother's room has copy of pictures- so we could replace them when missed)
Keep in contact with your friend and allow her a place to sound off. So many of our friends disappear because they dont know what to say , or get bored with us going on about things, or dont understand that emergencies crop up. A true friend to someone caring for a relative with dementia is invaluable. 
Re the care home. Its going to take her mum a while to settle as she has had the lost of her husband and carer, and several moves to different homes. She is going to be utterly confused for some time. I expect that she is asking to go home all the time. Be aware that she doesnt just mean her old bungalow (or whatever), but the time before the dementia when she didnt feel so scared and confused.
Keep your visits short - even 15 mins might be enough for her, certainly not more than a couple of hours. I wouldnt change her room just at the moment (she has had enough changes recently), but you could start to introduce a few things, bit by bit, into her room. Make sure that everything is clearly labeled as hers and dont bring anything valuable or that might upset anyone if it got broken /lost.
Re the care home. Its going to take her mum a while to settle as she has had the lost of her husband and carer, and several moves to different homes. She is going to be utterly confused for some time. I expect that she is asking to go home all the time. Be aware that she doesnt just mean her old bungalow (or whatever), but the time before the dementia when she didnt feel so scared and confused.
Keep your visits short - even 15 mins might be enough for her, certainly not more than a couple of hours. I wouldnt change her room just at the moment (she has had enough changes recently), but you could start to introduce a few things, bit by bit, into her room. Make sure that everything is clearly labeled as hers and dont bring anything valuable or that might upset anyone if it got broken /lost.
