How to help my dad

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by member75054, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. member75054

    member75054 New member

    Jul 5, 2018
    1
    Hi I'm new to the forum I don't know how. To help my dad more. He cares for my mum with Alzheimer's she's getting very cross a lot now and gets angry when he says he can't see the lady walk past the window when they are outside. She thinks someone lives upstairs - they don't. He would never do anything to upset her, loves her dearly but I think he doesn't know what to do - I have them here as much as I can but I work full time so can't be there 24/7 for him. Watching mum disappear and change is so hard for us all. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you.
     
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    10,088
    Female
    London
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    2,030
    N Ireland
    #3 karaokePete, Jul 5, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2018 at 3:27 PM
    Hello, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum a friendly, informative and supportive place.

    Shadows and reflections can sometimes be mistaken for people by a person with dementia. It can be part cause of a condition known as sundowning where it happens in the evenings when shadows etc prevail. With sundowning it can help to draw curtains and/or leave inside lights on to help minimise shadows/reflections.

    This person in the window may be somewhat similar in that a reflection or even a fold in the curtain is being mistaken for a person so I wonder if something like drawing the curtains would help. After all, these current sunny days may be creating a lot of reflections in glass. It may also help to just reassure your mum that the issue will be dealt with and distract her with a cup of tea until she forgets about it - until the next time.

    I have had similar problems with my wife at night and have to close curtains and put lights on early. I have also had to remove things like dressing gowns from the hook on the bedroom door as they were being mistaken for people.

    It may help both your parents if they sought support groups etc., in their area. You can do a post code search for what's available by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
     

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