1. jasebigfish

    jasebigfish Registered User

    Feb 17, 2015

    My mother has dementia and is at the point where If my Dad goes out she tries to find him as she forgets he said he was going out. Consequently he cannot go out anymore which is getting him down, as she puts herself in danger.

    Does anyone know how to get home help? He could do with 3 hours per day, 6 days per week so 18 hours of help. Will the goverment help? How many hours could we get, plus we don't mind paying for the rest.

    The main problem is they live in Grimsby Lincs, but I live in Australia, so I wondered If anyone knew who I should contact to get more information?

  2. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    #2 sistermillicent, Feb 19, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2015
    Does your mother go to a memory clinic?
    She needs to be referred to social services who can then do an assessment of her needs as well as a carer's assessment for your dad, it is recognised that he has needs as well. As a result of Dad's assessment he was given two lots of two hours carers to sit with mum per week. He does not have to pay for this.
    Mum also goes to day care twice a week which is a whole day. Dad would have to pay for this but mum has continuing health care funding at the moment, this is going to stop soon as her needs have changed. No, she isn't better, she is far worse, and immobile and doubly incontinent, but she isn't violent any more so they don't pay out.
    If your mum (not including your dad) has assets of less than about £23,000 the care prescribed by the social workers will be paid for by the local authority, but this is variable and unpredictable.

    would you be able to come over and see them through this difficult period of getting appropriate help in place? My dad freaked out at the word "assessment" and refused to let people in the house, and said no to everything, he was so negative and it took a lot of me being there to get anything at all, it was a year in setting things up.

    Good luck
  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    Think you have missed out the word 'not' sister millicent, as in 'not more'. Any savings over £23,500 and you become self funding. I think £11,000 is the figure at which which savings are totally disregarded, between that and £23,500 I think the amount is considered pro rata. Sorry if this is a bit convoluted but hope you know what I mean. The amount they will allow you will depend on your mother's savings and income, your father's income, etc, will not be taken into account but do make sure that the assessment is done solely on her finances, not joint. They will take into account her income, 50% of living expenses, rent/mortgage, etc and then come up with a figure after which they will help. I know in our case that didn't kick in until our care bill totalled somewhere around £175 pw. Once we reached that figure then the whole care package would have been picked up by SS.

    Of course, everything changed when my OH went into his care home and we had another assessment done in regards to his fees.

    Hope this helps and, as sister millicent says, GOOD LUCK!

    Sent from my GT-N5110
  4. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    #4 Beate, Feb 19, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2015
    You need to get in touch with social services for an assessment but also with their local Age UK and other charities who can provide sitting service and other support. In our case social services took over funding of the Age UK sitting service after the initial six weeks. OH also goes to a day centre, plus you could ask for a tracker device for when mum goes wandering. This is called telecare. Also ask for an OT assessment of their home (grab rails etc). Have a benefits check done for your parents as your mum probably qualifies for Attendance Allowance and council tax exemption and your dad for Carers Allowance.

    With regards to finances, this really is different from borough to borough. We were never asked for a financial assessment until I asked for respite in a care home. He doesn't pay apart from lunch money to the day centre. Other boroughs charge more.
  5. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    Thanks, I meant less not more and have changed it. And it's only 9am, doesn't bode well for the day.
    I think I should also have been a little more encouraging, and will add that once we got the care package in place with respite stays in a care home regularly as well it has gone reasonably well, and it's really only in the last year that things have gone down hill again.
  6. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    North East Lincs
    Hi Jason we live in Cleethorpes just down the road from Grimsby and my wife has a diagnosis of vascular dementia. If you get back to me I will send some details, by private message, of the help we have been able to secure. Hope I can help.

    Grey Lad
  7. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    Hi Jasebigfish, hope you can get the care needed for your mum very soon.
    Does anyone know whether, when they do a financial assessment for care and/or adaptations (bathroom), they take into account the value of the house, or just savings?
    Thanks. Es

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