How to explain

[tomgee3425]

My wife has alzheimer's and we live in Oman. Her mother has recently died and we will be going back to UK to see the family. How and when do I tell her?

 

[Canadian Joanne]

That's a very difficult problem. It does depend on the stage your wife is at and how you feel she will react to the news. My mother has had a sister and brother die since she was in care but I have never told her, because I felt, and feel, it would have caused her emotional pain for no reason. She would have forgotten anyways so I didn't see the point.

You might want to tell her once and then simply go around the topic. If you are attending the funeral, it will be impossible to avoid but still afterwards, if she starts talking about her mother, you can always tell her a 'love lie'. My mother started asking about her parents when they had been dead for 30 years. I used to respond by saying they were fine, same as always. This seemed to comfort her.

 

[tomgee3425]

That's a very difficult problem. It does depend on the stage your wife is at and how you feel she will react to the news. My mother has had a sister and brother die since she was in care but I have never told her, because I felt, and feel, it would have caused her emotional pain for no reason. She would have forgotten anyways so I didn't see the point.

You might want to tell her once and then simply go around the topic. If you are attending the funeral, it will be impossible to avoid but still afterwards, if she starts talking about her mother, you can always tell her a 'love lie'. My mother started asking about her parents when they had been dead for 30 years. I used to respond by saying they were fine, same as always. This seemed to comfort her.

Thanks for that. A little white lie would work. I shall take your advice and tell her once and hope she forgets

 

[tomgee3425]

That's a very difficult problem. It does depend on the stage your wife is at and how you feel she will react to the news. My mother has had a sister and brother die since she was in care but I have never told her, because I felt, and feel, it would have caused her emotional pain for no reason. She would have forgotten anyways so I didn't see the point.

You might want to tell her once and then simply go around the topic. If you are attending the funeral, it will be impossible to avoid but still afterwards, if she starts talking about her mother, you can always tell her a 'love lie'. My mother started asking about her parents when they had been dead for 30 years. I used to respond by saying they were fine, same as always. This seemed to comfort her.

Thanks for that. A little white lie would work. I shall take your advice and tell her once and hope she forgets