I wonder whether anyone can help me with the issue of hallucinations.
What is the best way to deal with issues that arise from them? Should we try explaining to Gran that it's the illness that she has that makes her think these things are real, or should we just let her go on imagining that these things ARE real & try to change the subject?
Some examples:
Gran often has 'visitors' in the form of two little boys she believes to be her 2 sons, (who are now obviously in their 60's, Gran is almost 86.) She has gone to the lengths of making food for them before now (months ago before she was as bad as she is) & expressing dismay that when she's returned to the living room with the food that they've gone & she doesn't know where. She asks who is caring for them? Where will they be? And how do we know for sure that they're getting fed & going to school?
She hears voices of 'grown men' downstairs on a night, after she has gone to bed. They disturb her & prevent her from sleeping. On lots of occasions, the living room light has been on when we've got there, she tells us 'those men left it on when they left, whenever they did'. Its clear she's forgotten to turn it off, but she won't accept it.
She's always asking mum for her pension back. Mum went with her to the bank at the beginning of the diagnosis system & got a bank card for herself so that she had access to Gran's money for her at this stage in the game. Mum is so honest, & always tells one of us that she's got money from the bank for Gran, but Gran keeps demanding nastily that she wants her pension back please, its her money & she's entitled to it. Mum would quite happily not make the weekly trip to the bank for money to give her but Gran doesn't venture out now. She has to be taken to the hairdresser that she's used for 11 years, because she can't find her way to it anymore (someone's moved it, she's moved to a different shop, although its still where it always was!)
She accused the one-time cleaner of stealing the hoover bag. She doesn't have a hoover with a bag, we bought her a Dyson years ago. When we asked her to describe the hoover bag, she was describing her shopping trolley, the bag of which was different because she was given a new one when her old one dropped to bits. The arguments over this got very heated & she just would not accept the truth.
There are endless little examples of the arguments that arise, & I'd like to know if anyone has any little tricks up their sleeve to deflect these arguments. My aunt is a great instigator of the arguments in that she will always tell Gran that the little boys don't exist, there are no men in the living room at night, these men don't eat her bread, etc. This tends to make Gran much more agitated & angry, she casts filthy looks around the room & accuses us all of making it all up in order that we can get her out of the house & get the money from it. My aunt will ask Gran why she's done the odd thing she's just done; what she meant by the load of gobbledeegook she just came out with. She asked her why there was a jumper on the radiator the other week, Gran couldn't answer. She didn't know why it was there. She didn't know who'd put it there. Obviously Gran had put it there but couldn't remember when or why. My aunt will insist on asking who, when, why, what and wherefore of Gran when the poor thing doesn't have the memory to know the answers. We've tried telling her to just leave it all alone, but its like talking to a wall.
Are there any ways of deflecting a forthcoming argument? If we don't give Gran some sort of answer to a situation, she won't let it drop. She won't engage in any further conversation until her's is answered. If we agree to her 'visions' are we fuelling the fire for further trouble? If we try to tell her they are 'visions' she goes bonkers with us & we have an argument. How do we deal with this? It makes caring for her so hard.
What is the best way to deal with issues that arise from them? Should we try explaining to Gran that it's the illness that she has that makes her think these things are real, or should we just let her go on imagining that these things ARE real & try to change the subject?
Some examples:
Gran often has 'visitors' in the form of two little boys she believes to be her 2 sons, (who are now obviously in their 60's, Gran is almost 86.) She has gone to the lengths of making food for them before now (months ago before she was as bad as she is) & expressing dismay that when she's returned to the living room with the food that they've gone & she doesn't know where. She asks who is caring for them? Where will they be? And how do we know for sure that they're getting fed & going to school?
She hears voices of 'grown men' downstairs on a night, after she has gone to bed. They disturb her & prevent her from sleeping. On lots of occasions, the living room light has been on when we've got there, she tells us 'those men left it on when they left, whenever they did'. Its clear she's forgotten to turn it off, but she won't accept it.
She's always asking mum for her pension back. Mum went with her to the bank at the beginning of the diagnosis system & got a bank card for herself so that she had access to Gran's money for her at this stage in the game. Mum is so honest, & always tells one of us that she's got money from the bank for Gran, but Gran keeps demanding nastily that she wants her pension back please, its her money & she's entitled to it. Mum would quite happily not make the weekly trip to the bank for money to give her but Gran doesn't venture out now. She has to be taken to the hairdresser that she's used for 11 years, because she can't find her way to it anymore (someone's moved it, she's moved to a different shop, although its still where it always was!)
She accused the one-time cleaner of stealing the hoover bag. She doesn't have a hoover with a bag, we bought her a Dyson years ago. When we asked her to describe the hoover bag, she was describing her shopping trolley, the bag of which was different because she was given a new one when her old one dropped to bits. The arguments over this got very heated & she just would not accept the truth.
There are endless little examples of the arguments that arise, & I'd like to know if anyone has any little tricks up their sleeve to deflect these arguments. My aunt is a great instigator of the arguments in that she will always tell Gran that the little boys don't exist, there are no men in the living room at night, these men don't eat her bread, etc. This tends to make Gran much more agitated & angry, she casts filthy looks around the room & accuses us all of making it all up in order that we can get her out of the house & get the money from it. My aunt will ask Gran why she's done the odd thing she's just done; what she meant by the load of gobbledeegook she just came out with. She asked her why there was a jumper on the radiator the other week, Gran couldn't answer. She didn't know why it was there. She didn't know who'd put it there. Obviously Gran had put it there but couldn't remember when or why. My aunt will insist on asking who, when, why, what and wherefore of Gran when the poor thing doesn't have the memory to know the answers. We've tried telling her to just leave it all alone, but its like talking to a wall.
Are there any ways of deflecting a forthcoming argument? If we don't give Gran some sort of answer to a situation, she won't let it drop. She won't engage in any further conversation until her's is answered. If we agree to her 'visions' are we fuelling the fire for further trouble? If we try to tell her they are 'visions' she goes bonkers with us & we have an argument. How do we deal with this? It makes caring for her so hard.