My MIL suffered a serious stroke last year and as a result is now housebound. She lives in her rented apartment within a retirement village and is very fortunate that they have on-site carers so she is looked after day to day by a team who visit her throughout the day and night for washing, changing, heating up meals etc.
She is immobile apart from limited use of her right arm so spends most of her time sitting in the 4 walls apart from the occasions she is taken out locally in her wheelchair.
We share the rest of her care with my BIL and as you all know life can sometimes be a roller coaster.
As far as we are aware she has not been formally diagnosed even though I've asked for 2 assessments by the stroke team - I don't know what test they do but I have heard her asked more than once if she gets confused or forgetful, which of course she grins and says 'No'! However she can make 30 phone calls to the same person within hours and reading these posts it is MIL to a 'T'!
To be honest I'm not sure what a formal diagnosis would achieve now with the support she currently gets, and I do think that the mixture of meds she is on and looking at 4 walls probably makes things worse
One of my major concerns just now is my own Mum. She is 85 and pretty independent and lives close by my MIL. They have been good friends for years and my Mum pops in to see her at least twice a day. Recently MIL has been sleeping heavily in front of the TV even whilst Mum has been there (her carers think its because she's not sleeping well at night) and MIL gets pretty upset at Mum if Mum 'sneaks' back home (MIL can't be woken at all when she's asleep). On several occasions Mum has got back to her flat to get a phone call from MIL wanting to know whether Mum is going to sit with her for the afternoon/evening. This is made worse because MIL gets totally confused about the time of day (thinks evening is morning) and the day.
This makes my Mum feel so guilty (unjustifiably) and it is stressing her. Mum and I have talked about it and I've suggested she says she will pop back as soon as she can but not do so until she was due to go again (MIL only remembers for a few minutes so will forget she has gone 'early' quite quickly). Mum can spend over 5 hours a day sat with MIL and MIL expects this and more and can sometimes become quite sharp with Mum or shouts at her because in her mind this isn't enough...
Any suggestions gratefully received as to how we might explain to MIL or any thoughts on a way round this. I am really concerned about the effect this is having on my Mum.
Thank you
She is immobile apart from limited use of her right arm so spends most of her time sitting in the 4 walls apart from the occasions she is taken out locally in her wheelchair.
We share the rest of her care with my BIL and as you all know life can sometimes be a roller coaster.
As far as we are aware she has not been formally diagnosed even though I've asked for 2 assessments by the stroke team - I don't know what test they do but I have heard her asked more than once if she gets confused or forgetful, which of course she grins and says 'No'! However she can make 30 phone calls to the same person within hours and reading these posts it is MIL to a 'T'!
To be honest I'm not sure what a formal diagnosis would achieve now with the support she currently gets, and I do think that the mixture of meds she is on and looking at 4 walls probably makes things worse
One of my major concerns just now is my own Mum. She is 85 and pretty independent and lives close by my MIL. They have been good friends for years and my Mum pops in to see her at least twice a day. Recently MIL has been sleeping heavily in front of the TV even whilst Mum has been there (her carers think its because she's not sleeping well at night) and MIL gets pretty upset at Mum if Mum 'sneaks' back home (MIL can't be woken at all when she's asleep). On several occasions Mum has got back to her flat to get a phone call from MIL wanting to know whether Mum is going to sit with her for the afternoon/evening. This is made worse because MIL gets totally confused about the time of day (thinks evening is morning) and the day.
This makes my Mum feel so guilty (unjustifiably) and it is stressing her. Mum and I have talked about it and I've suggested she says she will pop back as soon as she can but not do so until she was due to go again (MIL only remembers for a few minutes so will forget she has gone 'early' quite quickly). Mum can spend over 5 hours a day sat with MIL and MIL expects this and more and can sometimes become quite sharp with Mum or shouts at her because in her mind this isn't enough...
Any suggestions gratefully received as to how we might explain to MIL or any thoughts on a way round this. I am really concerned about the effect this is having on my Mum.
Thank you
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