My father is due to go into respite on Fri so that I can take my mum away for a much deserved break for a couple of days but he is refusing to go. He has become very stubborn and doesn't think he needs anyone to care for him. This is despite him wandering off and having numerous falls. Our GP has assessed him and stares he isn't fit to provide consent but if he refuses to go how do we proceed?
Hello there
I am so sorry for your family's problems at this time.
At first I had all sorts of trouble getting Mum to go to respite. She flatly refused, and said really hurtful things to make me feel guilty.
Then a (knowing) friend whom she knew and admired offered to help. This friend asked Mum if she would go with her to visit 'a centre' where she (the friend) was going to stay, and give her opinion. They went on a visit first, and then I took Mum the next day. The staff at the home were brilliant as we'd explained the situation.
It was alway difficult, but in the circumstances 'telling porkies' is excusable (although you don't feel like this at the time I felt I was totally betraying Mum). You don't mention whether your dad goes out anywhere, or has any 'mates' who might help. Also, like the other writers have said, talk it over with the staff at the respite home. They are really experienced at this very common problem.
Good luck, and if you succeed it will be so worth it for your mum. And your dad might even enjoy himself. If it doesn't work this time - DON'T give up!!
Keep your wings up!