How to deal with over exaggerating ailments

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kjn, Aug 14, 2015.

  1. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    Wasn't sure where this post should be :rolleyes:help please mods.

    I'm trying to work out how to deal with dads latest thing.

    Previous was his sore ankle , which involved having to roll up trouser leg , constant stopping to rub it . Not that this has never been a problem , he has always sat on it , he was a miner from 15 in Manchester and did have odd trouble in later yrs, but surfaced springtime. This has now gone and we are onto his walking stick as leans but now he has a stick he is breathless , yes he is getting out of breath more as less active but ....does seem to be some over breathlessness.
    The ankle we could bypass , ignore etc but how to deal with this latest one when walking. Poor mum in town trying to get anywhere some days.
    Any ideas please.
  2. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    Take him to the Doctors!
    Dependant on what they find, that gives the direction to take.
    Genuinely ill, fine correct medication.
    Old soldier's moveable war wound, much more difficult to assess. Just watch for frequency, does it get worse, when he doesn't want to do something?

    Whose Fil had 3 pains, always 1 at a time, never a combination!
  3. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    North West
    Must be so frustrating for your mum Kerry. I suppose the GP, if good, might be able to suggest a cause but isn't it far more likely that your mum will come away none the wiser? Sue's got this rapid noisy breathing habit at times and I don't believe there is anything wrong, nor does the doc. But it's still kind of annoying, especially at night!
  4. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    I'm with Bod, get him to the doctors, If he was a miner from 15 then it could be pneumoconiosis in some form or another. If it is confirmed then he could be in line for a significant amount of compensation, not that I'm suggesting you do it for that reason.
    I know what you mean about exaggerating ailments but this could be something relating to his time down the pits which doctors don't come across every day (thanks to Mrs T), do get it checked out.
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    My first thought is heart disease, specifically atrial fibrillation. Excessive breathlessness was the first indicator in my mother.

    But basically I agree with everyone else: doctor, pretty soon. It's entirely too easy (totally understandable of course) to blame any rather odd behaviour pattern on the dementia, but the truth is, people with dementia get other illnesses as well.
  6. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    Peace of mind is a great thing and that is what you will get if your Dad is given a check up-depending on what stage he is at so will he. There is always the bonus of hearing the words 'you are fine' coming from a Gp-the voice of authority .....

    My OH had asthma but as his dementia increased that turned to asthma with COPD-that turned into chest infections. Painful and increased breathlessness.

    Take care

    Lyn T
  7. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    Sorry , seems you've picked up on the breathless . He isn't always breathless, with mum and needs to walk anywhere he starts, with me he doesn't . Same as with his sore ankle which has disappeared.
    He has regular gp checks, has had high medical care over the yrs living abroad , also many medicals due to his job he had and previous, this seems more when he doesn't want to do something or it gets in his head.

    Thanks for your replies, I will make sure he continues his gp checks and try and figure what is going on.
  8. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    I think I know what you mean K.
    My dad obsesses over stuff for a couple of days or weeks & then moves on to something else. We've had a sore side, itchy eye, sore back, bad tummy etc.
    I say I'll take you to the GP or take paracetamol but he refuses point blank & he rarely mentions it to anyone but me.
  9. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    Old miner.... I bet he does have aches and pains and possible wheezing sometimes...... and maybe it's the only way of getting out of doing some thing he doesn't want to do right then.

    After seeing the doctor....

    If nothing "wrong" is found

    When he's breathless with your mum, and not you, tell her to give him something like a tic tac or something that looks similar to tablet - white lie time - and tell him the doctor prescribed this for when you get breathless


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  10. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    There was an idea on "The Three Day Nanny" last week that I tried out successfully with my two year old granddaughter, when the toddler wants to be carried when out for a walk. I wonder if it would work in the case of your dad.

    You just stop and say 'OK, we'll take a rest now. Do you want to sit on that wall/bench until you're ready to start again?" If the breathlessness is genuine, then perhaps you should stop anyway, but if it's done for other reasons, which is what you seem to be suggesting, then by not making a fuss of him or giving him extra attention (good or bad), there is no perceived benefit to your Dad.

    Might not work of course...and, be warned, it can be a very slow journey :D
  11. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    K I think 2Jays may be right mum always gets back ache when we go to the shops and keeps saying when are we finished and going home but never seems to get it when we go for a walk with the dog or my brother which she enjoys.
  12. Oxy

    Oxy Registered User

    Jul 19, 2014
    Whilst it could be a get out for what she doesn't want to do, shops and dog walk in greenery are different types of walking. Shops is more tiring because it is slow, stop start and in bad air possibly carrying a bag too. Walking with dog in fresh air and greenery, whether the park or countryside, is uplifting and refreshing!!!
  13. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    If you saw the hills where we live you would not think that a quick trip to B&Q is more tiring. :D
  14. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    Sue:D yes and the hills round me , we got him up one last weekend with the dog ....then when was up top decided he was panting and the journey down was harder than up :rolleyes:

    He doesn't carry bags or anything, leans on trolley in supermarket , in car rest of time being chauffeured by mum. They live in the country so plenty air there.
    Mum lets him rest, get his breath or sit , it's just becoming more of an issue.
    Will keep on with the distract theme once gp check been done again.
    Like the tictac idea, not sure he will fall for it though:D
    Fil does same but can soon get somewhere when wants to.

    Thanks .
  15. Oxy

    Oxy Registered User

    Jul 19, 2014
    Yes, didn't think of varying terrains experienced and shopping malls sprang to mind with loads of folk and recycled air!

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