1. kia

    kia Registered User

    Aug 12, 2009
    38
    southport
    ohh dear never rains but it pours eh a bit eager of your gp to do that too isnt it cos sure1y she sti11 needs to gp and he shou1d have checked first with fami1y before taking her off the books so your hubbys is right to kick off but cant be good for him even more stress and on the one afternoon u get together why not gent1y suggest to him he takes the nite off from visits he deserves it and treat yourse1ves even just a nite watching the tv together wou1d be nice cos sounds 1ike your 1osking yourse1ves in caring for her and your sti11 a coup1e.I think your best bet wou1d be a home rea11y cos u both sound strained and i know with my brother and me we were too were both so much better now 1et me know how u get on xxxxxkia
     
  2. suszyq

    suszyq Registered User

    Mar 30, 2009
    28
    wiltshire
    Hi,
    I do feel for you. My mother has been in a CH for 4 weeks now. The kind staff, the stimulation and the social interaction are absolutely brilliant. She is much better in herself, but I get these tearful phonecalls in the evening, she really layed in to me last night saying I 'put her there' etc and she wants to go home. There is nothing for her at home, she's isolated and was dependent on carers. For her the 'grass i greener', eventually she calms down, left me distraught and when I rang to day she was right as rain. When I visit her during the day she is mostly fine and I usually plan it so that there is an activity scheduled when I leave. I suppose what I am trying to say is, like other replies, that it's timing. The evenings are obviously the worst for her and the staff have told me that it is sundowning. No answers but loads of sympathy.
     
  3. Nels

    Nels Registered User

    Jul 25, 2006
    61
    Romford Essex
    Hi thanks for the replies. Still no further forward, I had to stay all day at school and came home to find that hubby had fallen asleep on the settee apparently had done this throughout the day, in between being phoned by MIL, who then puts the phone down and wanders off. Carer had replaced it when she called at 5pm and then phoned him, MIL has also stopped eating the meals on wheels, not even touching the sweet, but devoured the fish and chips he brought in :eek: Offered to phone GP as they were still open (just about) but he said he will do it tomorrow. Feel he is 'shutting down', does this if he has too much to do and cannot prioritise. He has admitted to me that she has to go into a NH but she is refusing to go at present, have told him in no uncertain terms that she has to go and showed him some posts about how others have the same problems. I will stay with her Friday night so he can sleep as I do not have school on Sat, hurry up the end of term! Thanks again everyone. Nels
     
  4. kia

    kia Registered User

    Aug 12, 2009
    38
    southport
    hiya u both sound at the end of your tethers my dad was the same point b1ank refused to go in do u have a ss yet and a cpn nurse on board cos their your first port of ca11 then u can insist on the assessment but i do fee1 for u was in this boat not 1ong ago xxxxxkia
     
  5. frederickgt

    frederickgt Registered User

    Jun 4, 2005
    124
    Hornchurch,Essex
    Nels,if you want to talk,I live in Hornchurch.
     
  6. Nels

    Nels Registered User

    Jul 25, 2006
    61
    Romford Essex
    Thanks everyone. Yesterday was a 'good' day and between myself and SW persuaded hubby to stay at home last night, although I woke at 4a.m. and found him downstairs wide awake, think the broken nights have upset his sleep pattern, I lured him back upstairs with hot chocolate and a biscuit, oh how times have changed. MIL was fine only got out of bed once (the alarm people phoned me this morning at 7 to reassure) but today has been up and down. Carer found photos and table strewn around the floor when she arrived at 8, as if she has swept them on the floor. Next door neighbour heard her tapping about 2.30pm and went in, she was complaining that her son had not been home for his food, her MOW.... in between ok but she has hidden her alarm button, hubby has looked everywhere:( about 8.30 neighbour heard her again and found her without her skirt on asking for son. Night time carers arrived, still could not find alarm button. Will see how she goes tonight. Hubby is going to see some homes that have vacancies tomorrow, today she was willing to consider these but not go back to the NH she has been in. Nels
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.