Hi everyone
I am very bad at visiting this fantastic site more often. When I do I always think to myself that I should visit the site when I am feeling alone, confused, fed up, sad - not all necessarily at the same time But what with working, my daughter, my sister whose husband has just died suddenly and, bless her, my mum, it just doesn't happen.
But happily it did tonight. I think spurred on by a visit from the Memory support team who gave me loooooaaaaads of info including loooooooaaaaads of info on the Society which was great and I am now wading through it.
My Mum continues to insist that she wants to go home (after more than 5 months of being in residential care). She now recognises that she cannot cope on her own but it determined to find someone to come and live in with her and look after her. We are in the process of selling her little house but it is complicated cos she took a loan out years ago which unbenown to us (her children - 5 of us!) means that they sell the house, they choose the estate agents etc. So she gets up in the morning, has her breakfast, and calls a taxi and spends the day in her house. Then her very kind neighbour runs her home ready for supper at the home by 5pm. God knows what she has for lunch! She ended up in hospital in Dec 06 cos she wasn't looking after herself properly. I suppose being in the home she at least gets her medication which she didn't when she was on her own at home (my Dad died over 12 years ago).
Her poor GP (he's mine as well)!! She seems to see him as key in the decision as to where she should be and keeps making appointments to talk to him because he will know what is possible and get her some home help etc - the only problem is that she has done that sooooo many times -last Monday being the latest but when I pointed that out she said "I'd remember something as important as that!".
And then today (and not for the first time) she said that she believed her GP and I were in cahoots about her welfare etc which is, of course, rubbish. I try and make it perfectly clear that I of course listen to her but also listen to the medical profession and simply reiterate their recommendations.
I am also worried (sorry to keep on!) about her finances. She has no savings so therefore are selling her home as I said. The amount social services say she has to pay means that she has about £20 per week to herself but she has a little dog who of course has to eat plus she seems to be spending her money as if she is on holiday. She gets taxis up to her house (where she spends the day), she buys food for herself (and the odd bottle of sherry!) which she doesn't need to do, she is always saying shall we go out for lunch (we never used to be "ladies wot lunch!).
I am sure this is all to do with her illness etc but it worries me because I cannot be with her all the time and just don't want to take her card for the hole in the wall away from her - well I couldn't - she just would go wild and be so upset and see it as a little bit more of her independence being taken away from her.
Now I'm rambling - a comment I have seen in other posts. But probably because this is somewhere where you can "talk" and know that people will understand. So it's not really "rambling" but just talking to some people who are or have been in the same or similar positions.
Has anyone else worried about their loved ones sudden spending! I'd love to hear from you.
Should I just let the GP deal with the constant appointments with the same questions? He's great and his grandparent went through this.
Although I live locally to my mum I have a job which takes me away a lot (no other siblings here) so cannot see her every day. Therefore I cannot divert her from going back to her house until it's sold.
Oh I don't know - there are no perfect answers with this illness. Just hang in there and be there for her.
Sorry - started to ramble again!
Will stop now and promise to check in more frequently!
Take care all.
Clare
I am very bad at visiting this fantastic site more often. When I do I always think to myself that I should visit the site when I am feeling alone, confused, fed up, sad - not all necessarily at the same time But what with working, my daughter, my sister whose husband has just died suddenly and, bless her, my mum, it just doesn't happen.
But happily it did tonight. I think spurred on by a visit from the Memory support team who gave me loooooaaaaads of info including loooooooaaaaads of info on the Society which was great and I am now wading through it.
My Mum continues to insist that she wants to go home (after more than 5 months of being in residential care). She now recognises that she cannot cope on her own but it determined to find someone to come and live in with her and look after her. We are in the process of selling her little house but it is complicated cos she took a loan out years ago which unbenown to us (her children - 5 of us!) means that they sell the house, they choose the estate agents etc. So she gets up in the morning, has her breakfast, and calls a taxi and spends the day in her house. Then her very kind neighbour runs her home ready for supper at the home by 5pm. God knows what she has for lunch! She ended up in hospital in Dec 06 cos she wasn't looking after herself properly. I suppose being in the home she at least gets her medication which she didn't when she was on her own at home (my Dad died over 12 years ago).
Her poor GP (he's mine as well)!! She seems to see him as key in the decision as to where she should be and keeps making appointments to talk to him because he will know what is possible and get her some home help etc - the only problem is that she has done that sooooo many times -last Monday being the latest but when I pointed that out she said "I'd remember something as important as that!".
And then today (and not for the first time) she said that she believed her GP and I were in cahoots about her welfare etc which is, of course, rubbish. I try and make it perfectly clear that I of course listen to her but also listen to the medical profession and simply reiterate their recommendations.
I am also worried (sorry to keep on!) about her finances. She has no savings so therefore are selling her home as I said. The amount social services say she has to pay means that she has about £20 per week to herself but she has a little dog who of course has to eat plus she seems to be spending her money as if she is on holiday. She gets taxis up to her house (where she spends the day), she buys food for herself (and the odd bottle of sherry!) which she doesn't need to do, she is always saying shall we go out for lunch (we never used to be "ladies wot lunch!).
I am sure this is all to do with her illness etc but it worries me because I cannot be with her all the time and just don't want to take her card for the hole in the wall away from her - well I couldn't - she just would go wild and be so upset and see it as a little bit more of her independence being taken away from her.
Now I'm rambling - a comment I have seen in other posts. But probably because this is somewhere where you can "talk" and know that people will understand. So it's not really "rambling" but just talking to some people who are or have been in the same or similar positions.
Has anyone else worried about their loved ones sudden spending! I'd love to hear from you.
Should I just let the GP deal with the constant appointments with the same questions? He's great and his grandparent went through this.
Although I live locally to my mum I have a job which takes me away a lot (no other siblings here) so cannot see her every day. Therefore I cannot divert her from going back to her house until it's sold.
Oh I don't know - there are no perfect answers with this illness. Just hang in there and be there for her.
Sorry - started to ramble again!
Will stop now and promise to check in more frequently!
Take care all.
Clare