This is my first ever post in an online forum so forgive me if I cover too much stuff. I'll try to limit this to the main issue in the title. My husband was always lazy and selfish (not just my opinion) so it is no surprise that he won't help himself now he has dementia, and nor will he help me who has to deal with the fallout. Firstly he forgets that he forgets and I wonder how others in my situation deal with that. Do you keep reminding them or let it go? Sometimes he needs to know that he is wrong because perhaps he insists that an appointment is on a different day or time than it actually is. advice for carers seem to suggest you try to give them jobs to maintain independence. My efforts to do this for are construed as nagging. It drives me mad the constant trail of destruction wherever he has been - food, dirty cups, plates etc, soiled clothes put back in drawers etc. he won't do anything to help himself even things he can. I find it hard not to get frustrated and he picks up in that of course. I don't think having dementia bothers him, even his occasional fecal incontinence doesn't seem to cause him that much concern - I find this the very worse thing about the whole situation, I can't face seeing people who have witnessed one of these episodes I am so ashamed - even though there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.
Well that's probably enough for one post! Perhaps I just needed to vent some frustration. But love to hear from others who have partners who won't help and don't fit the image often presented of a dementia patient who is themselves upset by their condition and wants help. My husband needs help but definitely doesn't want it and resists everything.
Well that's probably enough for one post! Perhaps I just needed to vent some frustration. But love to hear from others who have partners who won't help and don't fit the image often presented of a dementia patient who is themselves upset by their condition and wants help. My husband needs help but definitely doesn't want it and resists everything.