How to deal with a difficult situation

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by disi, Mar 26, 2015.

  1. disi

    disi Registered User

    My husband who has Vascular Dementia has not been sleeping for the last few weeks. He wakes at around 1.30 and constantly comes in and out to me for the rest of the night. He has been on numerous sleeping tablets and calming medicine.

    Our GP has suggested he go into respite for a couple of nights a week to give me a break. This sounds very good and I know it is. But the respite is next to the day centre he attends 5 days a week and really likes going.

    I just don't know how to tell him and what his reaction will be when he comes home. It may completely put him off going to the day centre and make him so unhappy. He is very placid and I know I am very lucky with this. Without the day centre I know I would not be able to manage him.

    Everyone is always telling me I must look after myself, I know this to be true, but I get so upset to think of Robert unhappy I just don't know what to do or say.

    If only he would settle down again and sleep this problem would not arise. I know there is no magic button, but life is really difficult at times. Sorry I am going on but I know this site is where I can do it.

    Love disi x
     
  2. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello Disi give it a try thats all you can do, see how he gets on with staying at night, it will give you a rest, my hubby was up alot in the night, he is on sleeping pills now, which is good. Take care
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,899
    Female
    Scotland
    If he likes the day centre then he will probably think the respite is an extension of his day out. I would be saying something like " instead of a trip out with day centre on their bus they are offering you a sleepover, isn't that a great idea?" Let's try it!

    I find that my husband comes home from day centre and asks me if I left early since I am meeting him at the door. He is thoroughly enjoying the company but as ever hasn't a clue who anyone is.
     
  4. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    5,736
    North East Lincs
    Take the respite and try to get some sleep with lots of me time whenever you get the opportunity.
     
  5. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    856
    WEST SUSSEX
    disi - you are Robert's ears, eyes and voice now - a responsibility we do not choose but dementia forces onto us so without regular "proper" sleep you will not be able to cope for long. As others have said, put aside your feelings of guilt and give the respite offer a try for both your sakes.
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,863
    Kent
    I think this advice is spot on. If your husband is so happy at the day centre and bedtime is handled with sensitivity, your husband will probably accept it as an extension to day care.

    You can only try.
     
  7. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Hope all goes well, disi
     

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