Mum's comments
My mum also commented on folk somewhat loudly, but fortunately not often. She used the word 'darkie' sometimes, and the 'n' word to describe a shade of dark brown; inevitable really as adverts too used this term when I was growing up. we had a conversation about this being 'hurtful these days', and 'chocolate brown' being nicer and she agreed, but a while later she reverted to her usual description. We had a mutual acquaintance, well she was an elderly friend of ours really, and when we stopped at her house one evening, I explained we were giving her a lift to church; Mam's reply was 'oh no, not that old misery'! I was startled and tried to hush her up with gestures etc. When I told a friend this she remarked, 'Well, your mum is always so positive, and H is quite negative about things isn't she?' This had never occurred to me, and I was grateful for the insight into both my mum's outlook on life and our friend's. It helped me appreciate my mother's character much more fully. Some of these posts have made me laugh too, and I'm struck by how accurate these remarks usually are, and how in some cultures such honesty is the norm; political correctness has its drawbacks in many ways! The cards idea seemed a very useful one to me.