How can you find the will to go on caring when everything you've tried just doesn't help and you feel you literally can't go on with being a carer or with life.
Getting you help and respite is the priority. I so agree with facline. Please act as quickly as you can. Time to look after you.I am carer for my mum she vacular dementia she has declined over the last 3 weeks or so.we are just coming to the end of DRRT that she was referred to by her cpn, meds have been changed which are helping to keep her calmer about the delusions and paranoia even though she still had them. DRRT have been brilliant but I don't think I can go on doing the caring I am so low that I don't think I can get myself back up this time.I have spoken to their councillor but can't say everything I need to because I get upset and can't get the words out.
Hi mum has a social worker and has been on the reablement for 7 weeks now I only spoke to social worker about a week ago to see what was happening because it should only be for 6 weeks she told me the contract had not been cancelled because of covid.mum has a carer for 30 mins 4 mornings a week for personal care and breakfast ,and to promt meds that I put out.I had a Phone appointment this morning with the social worker to see what will happen next but they called yesterday to cancel it , I had worked myself all week for it now don't know when it will be.Hello @Andrea57, I think I know how you are feeling and want you to know that you are not alone. I had also reached this point when caring for my nan who also has vascular dementia - she has seen a decline in the last few weeks also. Sorry if this is a stupid question but is there a social worker involved who understands the pressure you are under and also what it's doing to your own health? If you are unable to speak to professionals without getting upset you would hope that they would understand the severity of the situation so I'm sorry to hear that this hasn't been the case. Has respite been mentioned / would you find that useful? If your mum has declined, there might also be a need for social services to look at implementing a package of care or long term residential care if this is something you would feel okay with.
Please try and think about how strong you've been to deal with this on your own. I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now. We're all here for you.
I keep things bottled up if someone says how are you my usual answer is yes fine thanks when really I feel like I am dying inside , because I don't want to burden anyone with my thoughts and feelings.Hello @Andrea57, I think I know how you are feeling and want you to know that you are not alone. I had also reached this point when caring for my nan who also has vascular dementia - she has seen a decline in the last few weeks also. Sorry if this is a stupid question but is there a social worker involved who understands the pressure you are under and also what it's doing to your own health? If you are unable to speak to professionals without getting upset you would hope that they would understand the severity of the situation so I'm sorry to hear that this hasn't been the case. Has respite been mentioned / would you find that useful? If your mum has declined, there might also be a need for social services to look at implementing a package of care or long term residential care if this is something you would feel okay with.
Please try and think about how strong you've been to deal with this on your own. I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now. We're all here for you.
Hi mum has a social worker and has been on the reablement for 7 weeks now I only spoke to social worker about a week ago to see what was happening because it should only be for 6 weeks she told me the contract had not been cancelled because of covid.mum has a carer for 30 mins 4 mornings a week for personal care and breakfast ,and to promt meds that I put out.I had a Phone appointment this morning with the social worker to see what will happen next but they called yesterday to cancel it , I had worked myself all week for it now don't know when it will be.
I keep things bottled up if someone says how are you my usual answer is yes fine thanks when really I feel like I am dying inside , because I don't want to burden anyone with my thoughts and feelings.
ThanksNo need to bottle up on here @Andrea57 . We know you are not fine right now and you can say exactly how you feel.
if someone says how are you my usual answer is yes fine thanks when really I feel like I am dying inside
I could fight anyone’s battles but living it myself I feel I can’t fight for me x
i think that there is an expectation that ladies will look after their menfolk and is part of the contract like looking after children but if men do it it seems of epic proportions. a generalisation not something i agree with and carers tend to be givers not takers. and have plates spinning all over the place.The beauty of Dementia Talking Point is we can tell others how we feel and cry in private. I`ve shed many a tear on this forum and no-one knew. We may be strangers but we all have dementia in common and know full well the devastation, heartbreak and exhaustion we experience.
Even so, try to ask for help and take any help available
Why is it so much easier to ask for help for others but not for ourselves? This seems to be a common practice with carers but if we don`t ask for help no one will know we need it.
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