Hi
I'm new to this forum but have looked through lots of supportive posts and wondering if anyone could offer me any words of advice.
To cut a long story short my mum who is 67 has had Alzheimer's for about the last 2 years we think but only diagnosed at the end of the last year, following which her condition has significantly deteriorated. She lives with my Dad who in my opinion is struggling to cope with it all but won't accept any help from my brother or I. He has never been someone to talk about feelings or anything remotely like that and has turned into a very closed off person in the last year to the extent its very hard to talk to him at all.
My mum refuses to acknowledge there is anything wrong with her but now needs watching 24/7 for her own safety. She doesn't even want Dad to tell us about any of it but he is trying to keep us informed as best he can.
Anyway my question is does anyone have experience of this? I've tried to offer Dad time out where I can be with Mum, suggested at home care agencies who we could start building relationships with and lots of other things, but he doesn't want to hear of any of it as he thinks it would upset Mum more. He is retired but did have loads of interests and groups he was a part of which he now given up as won't leave Mum alone. He is exhausted and a shadow of the man he was before this and I can only imagine how difficult it is for him. They used to have a very busy social life but from what I can gather have totally withdrawn from this.
I think I've come to terms with whats happening to Mum which has been very hard but now I feel devastated over the impact its having on Dad which will only I imagine get worse. Our relationship has become very strained over the last few years as Mum was very confused about things she thought she'd asked my brother and I to do etc when we hadn't and then Dad telling us off for it before we knew what was wrong.
I don't want to force help on someone who doesn't want it but just want to know what I can do for the best, even if that's just to wait to be asked for help. I don't have any friends who have experienced this cruel disease with their parents and just not sure who to talk to.
I should add I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old so life is quite busy at the moment.
I hope this post doesn't sound all about me as I really don't mean to come across that way, I just don't know what to do for the best.
Thanks all.
I'm new to this forum but have looked through lots of supportive posts and wondering if anyone could offer me any words of advice.
To cut a long story short my mum who is 67 has had Alzheimer's for about the last 2 years we think but only diagnosed at the end of the last year, following which her condition has significantly deteriorated. She lives with my Dad who in my opinion is struggling to cope with it all but won't accept any help from my brother or I. He has never been someone to talk about feelings or anything remotely like that and has turned into a very closed off person in the last year to the extent its very hard to talk to him at all.
My mum refuses to acknowledge there is anything wrong with her but now needs watching 24/7 for her own safety. She doesn't even want Dad to tell us about any of it but he is trying to keep us informed as best he can.
Anyway my question is does anyone have experience of this? I've tried to offer Dad time out where I can be with Mum, suggested at home care agencies who we could start building relationships with and lots of other things, but he doesn't want to hear of any of it as he thinks it would upset Mum more. He is retired but did have loads of interests and groups he was a part of which he now given up as won't leave Mum alone. He is exhausted and a shadow of the man he was before this and I can only imagine how difficult it is for him. They used to have a very busy social life but from what I can gather have totally withdrawn from this.
I think I've come to terms with whats happening to Mum which has been very hard but now I feel devastated over the impact its having on Dad which will only I imagine get worse. Our relationship has become very strained over the last few years as Mum was very confused about things she thought she'd asked my brother and I to do etc when we hadn't and then Dad telling us off for it before we knew what was wrong.
I don't want to force help on someone who doesn't want it but just want to know what I can do for the best, even if that's just to wait to be asked for help. I don't have any friends who have experienced this cruel disease with their parents and just not sure who to talk to.
I should add I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old so life is quite busy at the moment.
I hope this post doesn't sound all about me as I really don't mean to come across that way, I just don't know what to do for the best.
Thanks all.