How on earth do I deal with this??

[silkiest]

Hi @CardiffGirlInEssex, I'm hoping to goodness that these people change their minds, but if your dad is absolutely going to come home the door locks need to be changed to ones with a thumb turn on the inside. Before we had one at MIL home she left key in the lock, had a fall and we couldn't get in! Your mum will then not be able to leave a key in the door and lock carers out. You will also need a key safe outside the door so carers can let themselves in if necessary. Your local authority will have a company they use for things like this - your dad will be able to give consent even if your mum does not. You may even get it free if either of them are on certain benefits (I think attendance allowance is included).

 

[CardiffGirlInEssex]

Hi @CardiffGirlInEssex, I'm hoping to goodness that these people change their minds, but if your dad is absolutely going to come home the door locks need to be changed to ones with a thumb turn on the inside. Before we had one at MIL home she left key in the lock, had a fall and we couldn't get in! Your mum will then not be able to leave a key in the door and lock carers out. You will also need a key safe outside the door so carers can let themselves in if necessary. Your local authority will have a company they use for things like this - your dad will be able to give consent even if your mum does not. You may even get it free if either of them are on certain benefits (I think attendance allowance is included).

Thanks @silkiest , we are looking into changing the front door lock. There is already a key safe as carers and nurses have been visiting daily for mum for some time. We do have alternative access at the back of the house now I have had the garage door controls sorted out so can leave that in the key safe too.

 

[CardiffGirlInEssex]

An update. Arrangements are being made for my dad to return home at the beginning of next week. Phone calls from Mum since last Friday have been to complain about the bed and hoist because he isn’t there and she doesn’t know when he will be, she wants it all taken away.

so, having been given a date for his return, her neighbour kindly printed off a letter I had typed up, and took it in to her, so she can see when he is coming home. I just had another call (and made the mistake of answering it instead of letting it go to voicemail as I usually do). She’s got the letter, there is something in it that is bothering her a lot but she isn’t sure now what it is. Ramble ramble, she cannot hear me at all. So I hung up.

I can only hope that firstly dad does actually get to go home on Monday and secondly that she has any idea who he is when he gets there. His cousin is going round during Monday afternoon with shopping, and to do laundry, so hopefully that will help.

I’m staying away for at least a month and hoping that things will settle.

 

[canary]

What a nightmare.
I think staying away is a sensible plan