1. Sarah_p

    Sarah_p New member

    Sep 1, 2018
    4
    Is it better to visit often or not? It's a bone of massive contention between my family. My Gran is 95, registered blind, and has Alzheimer's. She's in a care home. She swerves between hallucinations and confusion and being really lucid. Some days she's frantically worried about an imaginary dog and on other days she asks about her great grandchildren, reminisces about her childhood and is able to have a laugh and normal conversation. She's otherwise isolated and unable to join in social activities.

    We want her to be visited at least every other day to ensure oversight of her care but other family members say its ok to visit her 6 times a month because she won't remember us visiting anyway and less 'disruption' is better for her. She's always much calmer and happier during the visit. More frequent visits would require her to move to another care home. Does anyone know of any documentation/ research/factsheets that show the benefits of more regular visits? Would be great to be able to show written evidence in the run up to the next Best Interest Meeting.
    Thanks
     
  2. Baker17

    Baker17 Registered User

    Mar 9, 2016
    389
    My husband was moved, against my wishes, because other family members said they would visit everyday if he was moved. He has now been moved twice and the unsettlement to him has been horrendous. I know in your case it’s different because you want visit more regularly but it’s important to consider the possible effect on the person concerned.
     
  3. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,669
    Nottinghamshire
    Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Sarah_p

    I don’t know of any evidence about regular visiting being beneficial but I do agree that if your Gran is settled in her carehome and has friends and knows the staff and they her it would probably be best to leave her there. I used to visit my dad every other day if I could but sometimes he just wanted me to go away!

    A visit of an hour or two on alternate days is a maximum of 8 hours in the week so your Gran needs to be settled wherever she is. Just my opinion of course!

    Dad’s carehome manager encouraged family to visit regularly but I know others have been advised it’s best to limit visits, especially in the early days, to allow a person to get used to their new “family”. It’s best to follow your instincts.

    If you feel she is isolated in the carehome see if you can speak to the manager and find out how she is when you’re not around. Your Gran may be joining in more than you imagine.
     
  4. Sarah_p

    Sarah_p New member

    Sep 1, 2018
    4
    She hasn't made friends in the home - most are severely affected by dementia so not much conversation. As she is blind she's not able to do anything. Staff are kind but recent safeguarding report suggests malnutrition and neglect. Today we learned that physical injury to her is being investigated by police. I think family oversight would help prevent this kind of thing. As she's sometimes totally lucid the soundscape of yodelling, swearing and moaning is really distressing for her - with care staff stretched and not able to talk to her other than basic care.
     
  5. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    2,001
    Female
    How beneficial are visits? I think it depends on the individual person, their relationship with the visitors, and the stage they are at. I think it is likely that your gran would have no idea how often she has visitors - when I visit my mother, if I leave the room and return five minutes later, she greets me as if she hasn't seen me in weeks.

    The most important thing is the quality of the care, and as you are not happy with the current care home, that is a good reason for moving her. At the best interests meeting I would focus on that - the questions over her care - rather than on how often you visit.
     
  6. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    358
    This is really concerning ...you didn’t mention it in your first post?

    If you think malnutrition, neglect and physical injury are a real risk then I’m surprised if you are not involving the CQC and local safeguarding who would surely intervene. I’d hate to think staff were accused of this erroneously as I have huge respect for all the care staff I have ever met. It is obviously a serious accusation with many ramifications but your loved one needs protection.

    Decide which issue is really the issue here. I don’t think you can force other members of the family to a visit schedule that you prefer whatever reason you have for it.
     
  7. Sarah_p

    Sarah_p New member

    Sep 1, 2018
    4
    Depends on the day. My understanding is it's not whether she remembers the vists but the positive impact on her mental/emotional state of the visit. Time spent having her hand held and reminiscing about her childhood cheers her up in the moment. The issue of the quality of care is being dealt with - she'll probably move. Problem is if she moves to another local home she still wont have family contact or oversight so the same thing could happen again.
     
  8. Sarah_p

    Sarah_p New member

    Sep 1, 2018
    4
    They are involved - along with the police. I think the real issue is that without family oversight her care slipped. Keeping her local to them means continuing lack of visitation and all that entails.
     
  9. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    1,511
    Malnutrition, neglect and physical injury - with Police, CQC & safeguarding involvement - isn't just a case of 'care slipping' due to family not visiting regularly. These are serious care failings and should not happen in a care home regardless of how often family visit. If the allegations are proved your family isn't responsible or to blame for these failings, the care home is. You may not have much experience of care homes but please don't think that all homes are the same. A move may be the best thing for your Gran as the priority should be that she is kept safe from harm.
     
  10. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,669
    Nottinghamshire
    I agree. I would be looking for a better home.
     
  11. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    2,001
    Female
    I agree with Louise, these are not 'slips', and I wouldn't personally want to leave a relative in a CH which provided that standard of care. Your gran should not need close supervision by family to ensure she is being well cared for. The care your gran is receiving is not acceptable but there is no reason to think another care home would be similarly poor - there are good care homes out there.
     

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