Hi can I ask how often people visit their loved one in a care home? I'm really struggling with this.
My mum is not yet 60 but her dementia is quite advanced. She has been in a care home for nearly 3 months. She no longer recognizes me, her only child. I pay her former home care to visit twice a week, we are her only two regular visitors. Her husband for a number of reasons chooses not to visit and hasn’t done since she moved there.
Before mum went into the carehome I visited her and her husband at least 3 times a week and had reduced my hours at work so we could spend more time together and I could help out on a practical level.
The care home she's in is about 25 miles away and depending on traffic takes about 40-60 mins each way. Since she's been at there I have been keeping up my x3 a week visits but finding them harder and harder. Mum barely acknowledges my presence, most of the time she talks to me in the same way she talks to the carers. Is she does speak to me she will say ' I haven't seen Rosie in a while', if I try to explain I am Rosie she will get annoyed with me and say 'no you are not, you're not my Rosie'. When I visited Sunday and I said 'hi mum it's Rosie' all I got was "oh god not again". I brought my dog in with me and I asked mum if she wanted to say hello to the dog she said "not particularly". Over the past couple of years I've had all kind of comments said to me by mum, often quite upsetting. I've stayed with her for weeks at a time when her husband was in hospital, I've reduced my hours and therefore suffered financially and I've been on antidepressants nearly two year trying to cope with Mum's dementia. I'm just finding this visiting at the care home so hard. Two hours driving to sit with my mum for an hour ignoring me. I try to talk to her and get her to engage in activities but she's no longer interested. If I don't visit as often I feel like I have abandoned her.
My mum is not yet 60 but her dementia is quite advanced. She has been in a care home for nearly 3 months. She no longer recognizes me, her only child. I pay her former home care to visit twice a week, we are her only two regular visitors. Her husband for a number of reasons chooses not to visit and hasn’t done since she moved there.
Before mum went into the carehome I visited her and her husband at least 3 times a week and had reduced my hours at work so we could spend more time together and I could help out on a practical level.
The care home she's in is about 25 miles away and depending on traffic takes about 40-60 mins each way. Since she's been at there I have been keeping up my x3 a week visits but finding them harder and harder. Mum barely acknowledges my presence, most of the time she talks to me in the same way she talks to the carers. Is she does speak to me she will say ' I haven't seen Rosie in a while', if I try to explain I am Rosie she will get annoyed with me and say 'no you are not, you're not my Rosie'. When I visited Sunday and I said 'hi mum it's Rosie' all I got was "oh god not again". I brought my dog in with me and I asked mum if she wanted to say hello to the dog she said "not particularly". Over the past couple of years I've had all kind of comments said to me by mum, often quite upsetting. I've stayed with her for weeks at a time when her husband was in hospital, I've reduced my hours and therefore suffered financially and I've been on antidepressants nearly two year trying to cope with Mum's dementia. I'm just finding this visiting at the care home so hard. Two hours driving to sit with my mum for an hour ignoring me. I try to talk to her and get her to engage in activities but she's no longer interested. If I don't visit as often I feel like I have abandoned her.
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