How much respite care do you receive?


Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
Poppetweb said:
Social workers have become involved and said the hospital muts kep him a few days extra until a suitable home is found for at least 2 weeks where he can receive 'intermediate' care.

During this time my mother will think long and hard about his future (either back at home or in primary care).

Has anyone else been in this position?

The hosital care has been very good on the whole.

Hi and sorry to hear about what your father has been going through. I think it will be a good thing for your father to go for 2 weeks intermediate care. It will give you and your mother time and space to think about what best to do in the future. If he can be found a place for 2 weeks that may possibly be able to keep him long term then that would be good. The 2 weeks will give you all time to see what you think of the home and 'try it on for size'. If he is sent somewhere that can't keep him for longer than the 2 weeks then it gives you time to look around and see what else is available.

My mum has been in 2 homes now - an EMI care home for approximately a year and then a nursing home which she has been in for just over 3 months following 8 weeks in hospital.

When we had to find her first home my dad had just died and she had gone for respite. The council run home she was in was under threat of closure so social services wouldn't allow her to stay there for any longer than absolutely essential. This meant that even before we had buried my father we were under enormous pressure from social services to find somewhere else.

When we were looking for the nursing home we were in dispute with the care home over the circumstances of her accident and the fact that they had refused to keep her place open without discussion with us. On both occasions we were having to make decisions when we extremely traumatised. I have doubts about the first home that we chose, but there were only 2 to pick from at the time. I have no serious doubts about the nursing home - we looked around for longer, asked more questions, checked reports on the CSCI website, asked around in case we knew anyone who knew the homes etc. Short of booking ourselves in for a short stay there was not much else we could have done!

I suppose what I am saying in a very long winded way is that you should not allow yourselves to be rushed into making any decisions about whether your father should go in a home at all and if he is going into one then which home it should be. However, you can go too far to the other extreme, as we very nearly did with the nursing home decision and find yourselves unable to decide at all!

I am glad to hear that your father's hospital care has been OK as so often this is not the case, especially with people with dementia.

I hope this has been of some help and has not just served to confuse you! If you want to ask anything else then don't hesitate to do so. I know how hard this can be.


Registered User
Since I posted (above) there have been a few 'hiccups'.

1. My father was taken to the residential home from the hospital by hospital (car) ambulance without a nurse and without giving my mother time to get to the hospital to accompany him.

2. He arrived at the residential home (followed by my mother about an hour later) and was there for 2 hours. The home decided that he was not suitable and could not look after him as they didn't have the 'right' staff so my mother, by this time dispondent, took him home.

So, back to square one.


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
How is your dad, and how is your mum coping? Is dad managing the stairs? Is he still as confused as he was after the operation or has his head cleared a little?
It is a shame that your mum has not had time to consider future care.
Best wishes,


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Has your mum contacted social services about all this?

Does your mum have a social worker so that they can arrange a care package ,?so it well include a care worker to come in to help your mum if your mum wants to look after your dad at home or your mum can talk to a social worker if your mum wants your dad to go in to a nursing care home


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
19-05-2006, 10:26 PM
Registered User
Just seen this thread am a bit :confused: Poppetweb as its been a while since you last posted , how it going with your father .

Can't belive when you say :eek:
If you live in Calderdale (West Yorkshire) there really is no respite care!
No respite :( , have you Spoken to a social worker , what care help is your mother receiving now for your father

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