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How much longer

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
912
Had to take my Dad to hospital today.He has skin cancer and this was for assessment for suitability for radiotherapy,preferred treatment is surgery but anaesthetic too risky.Dad was truly 'demented' today,constantly shouting and agitated.Had to travel 15 miles in taxi as ambulance not provided.Put in a room to wait for Dr as other people were being disturbed.Saw Dr,not suitable for radiotherapy as can't be still and in a room on his own.I totally agree and tried to explain this over the phone but was bamboozled into taking him for the appt.Another Dr wants him to have an ECG.I won't be taking him,it is far too distressing and at 94 I feel it is also pointless.I get the impression that medics etc think we just can't be bothered which is far from true but I really believe we've reached the point of diminishing returns with medical treatment.What will.happen when I say I won't take him for any more appt?I thought we had cleared this up with his GP,definitely did DNR but can we say no more treatment or hospital referrals?BTW Dad is 94,diagnosed 10 years ago,in a NH but not specialist dementia.
 

Aitchbee

Registered User
Nov 3, 2013
87
Sorry to hear you and your Dad are having such a distressing time. It might be worth contacting Macmillan for advice. Their helpline is 0808 808 0000. Alternatively, you could ask your GP to refer your Dad to the local Macmillan nurse. Mum has just been seen by a Macmillan nurse after we contacted the local palliative care team direct (Mum does not have cancer). The Mac nurse was lovely and v helpful. We wanted to get the opinion of palliative care specialists as our priority for Mum is quality of life. I hope you get the support you need from whatever source
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
19,893
North Manchester
Have a word with his GP as to whether more hospital appointments are a good idea.

On the point of no ambulance provided therefore had to use taxi, I think in a non emergency situation it is the person who requests the transport who is charged, the care home may not have been willing to accept this charge but the GP should have done so if it was a medical need. Ask the GP to organise transport if future appointments are deemed necessary.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,608
South coast
On the point of what will happen if you dont take him for his ECG - if you dont turn up for the appointment then a letter will be sent to his GP telling him that you havnt attended.
A better way may be to phone up and actually cancel the appointment and say politely that, no thanks you dont want another appointment as its too traumatic for him. The appointment will be cancelled and you wont hear any more.
It also means that the appointment slot will be offered to someone else.
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
912
Sorry to hear you and your Dad are having such a distressing time. It might be worth contacting Macmillan for advice. Their helpline is 0808 808 0000. Alternatively, you could ask your GP to refer your Dad to the local Macmillan nurse. Mum has just been seen by a Macmillan nurse after we contacted the local palliative care team direct (Mum does not have cancer). The Mac nurse was lovely and v helpful. We wanted to get the opinion of palliative care specialists as our priority for Mum is quality of life. I hope you get the support you need from whatever source
I just want peace and quiet for my Dad.I need to set up a meeting with his GP,at the moment am just getting messages through Bhutan.Thanks for your advice.
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
912
On the point of what will happen if you dont take him for his ECG - if you dont turn up for the appointment then a letter will be sent to his GP telling him that you havnt attended.
A better way may be to phone up and actually cancel the appointment and say politely that, no thanks you dont want another appointment as its too traumatic for him. The appointment will be cancelled and you wont hear any more.
It also means that the appointment slot will be offered to someone else.[/QUOTE
He doesn't have an appt as such,just needs to attend a walk in ionic.It's out of the question at the moment,will get him there if and when he becomes calmer
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
912
Have a word with his GP as to whether more hospital appointments are a good idea.

On the point of no ambulance provided therefore had to use taxi, I think in a non emergency situation it is the person who requests the transport who is charged, the care home may not have been willing to accept this charge but the GP should have done so if it was a medical need. Ask the GP to organise transport if future appointments are deemed necessary.
I really thought taxi driver coming back was going to refuse to take us,God only knows what we would have done then.I've made a decision that I won't put him through that again.No more hospitals if I have anything to do with it.