How much can dementia impact on my father

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kateyjane, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Kateyjane

    Kateyjane Registered User

    Dec 28, 2015
    1
    Mum has slowly been slipping into dementia for nearly 4 years now with my father her main carer. Diagnosis has recently been given but medication refused.
    My main worry has become my father. He is withdrawn, and becoming a little forgetful and confused at times himself. He avoids any attempt I make to meet up on his own to discuss everything. My obvious worry is the dreaded dementia again but wonder if these symptoms could be a result of stress and depression.

    Any thoughts?..
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,793
    Female
    Scotland
    Katey I was hoping someone more knowledgeable than I am would have an answer for you and they might yet.

    Being a carer for a PWD is very hard going and slipping into depression would be entirely understandable. You don't say what age your parents are or whether he has any interests or help apart from yourself. That is where I would start. If you ask social services for a care assessment for both your parents to see if he can get a little break from caring. Tell them how vulnerable he seems. Also you might ask his GP to call him in for a general check up with a bit of attention paid to his mental well being.

    Good luck.
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,936
    Yorkshire
    Hi Kateyjane
    welcome to TP - it's such a good place to share information with sympathetic people.

    I was thinking very much along the same lines as marionq.
    It certainly sounds as though your dad is worn down, so contacting his GP and letting them know your concerns might well be the way to get things moving - if you send them a letter, they may not feel able to discuss your dad with you, but they will note your worries - leave the diagnosis to them, but cajole your dad into going to them - good idea to ask the GP to invite him in for an MOT?
    You say medication has been refused - I wonder whether they are accepting any help? Having carers in may well be a relief for him - definitely contact Adult Services for an assessment of needs and use that word marionq has given you = vulnerable

    Is your dad IT literate? Could you direct him to TP or just happen to leave a laptop open when you visit - he may be relieved to know he's not alone in his situation.
    My dad didn't want to 'worry me' when he was caring for my mum after a stroke, so I appreciate how tricky it is when he doesn't want to talk - I just kept helping as much as I could and eventually he chatted to me more - maybe look into as many avenues as you can to support him, so you can step in as soon as you see an opening

    best wishes
     
  4. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,127
    eastern USA
    Hello. Were this my parent, I'd ask him ever so gently to go to the doctor's and seek an evaluation about his health. If the doctor noticed anything, the doctor could then suggest further testing. That way, you can be sure he is not getting sick (there are many hidden illnesses), and you can also have a third party make an assessment. He would of course be depressed. Isn't it time to have daily carers come in for both of them? I think it's time someone took the helm and helped them steer a better course. I'm sorry and hope you will find a way to get through these next months and years with your own sanity . . . .
     

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