how long?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by MsBee, Jan 28, 2019.

  1. MsBee

    MsBee New member

    Jan 28, 2019
    4
    Please give details here
    my 93 year old mother has vascular dementia and is nearing the end of her life.... She has all of the signs and symptomes of end stage and now has developed bed sores...What can I expect and how long?
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,640
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @MsBee and welcome to Talking Point.

    Im sorry to hear about your mum. Unfortunately end stage is not the same as end of life and this stage can go on for some time - anything from a few weeks to a few years. I wish someone would invent an accurate crystal ball! Seriously, there just is no knowing. Also sometimes people with dementia can appear to reach end of life, only to rally. There are 2 or 3 members on here whos loved one has done just that. One was even on a syringe driver and only expected to last a couple of days. Im afraid that the last stage can be a terrible roller coaster.
     
  3. MsBee

    MsBee New member

    Jan 28, 2019
    4
    According to the website "Recognizing when someone is reaching the end of their life" life... Mom is probably at the end of life stage as she does fit all of the bullet points... she is quite frail, has now developed bedsores... according to this same article they indicate that she may be nearing end of life... You are right this is a roller coaster... Her dr. indicated 9 months ago that patients like Mom usually lived only 6 mo.... We all love he so... She is well taken care of in a private nursing home... I
     
  4. KathrynAnne

    KathrynAnne Registered User

    Jun 6, 2018
    271
    Female
    South Yorkshire
    My Mum is at a similar stage. She is bed bound, has Carers in 4 times a day to change and turn her, the district nurse is in every day to change her dressings and she eats only very small amounts of soft food. Some days she hardly opens her eyes at all but today she has been a bit more alert and she seemed to smile at me. I have no idea how long this could go on. Sometimes I wish it would end quickly and other times I am distraught at the thought of her not being here anymore.
    There are many posts on here from people in the same situation and there is really no way to know how long this stage will last.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,640
    Female
    South coast
    People with dementia seem to cling to life.

    I dont want to upset you, but you asked what to expect. I would say that the pointers of End of Life with dementia (it will be different if they die of something else) is that their body starts to close down slowly, often over several weeks. Their swallow goes and they stop eating and drinking. People with dementia can seem to go on for a very long time eating and drinking only very small amounts, but once they reach end of life they stop eating and drinking completely. Mum did not eat or drink anything for 17 days before she finally passed away. They become almost comatose and then, in the final few days their limbs become cold and their breathing changes - it becomes very rough and loud and there are very long gaps, so that you think they have passed - and then they take another breath. This is called Chayne Stokes breathing. Mum was like that for 3 days. The skin becomes mottled and their eyes become milky. I began to wonder how mum could possibly be still here.

    Even so, they can rally - they have been reports on here of people being in this state and then they rally, so that the next thing is that they are sitting up in bed eating! It seems unbelievable, but it can happen.
     
  6. MsBee

    MsBee New member

    Jan 28, 2019
    4
    Thank you for the clarification.... Mom has been diagnosed for 8 years with vascular dementia.. It is heart breaking to see the continual decline....We have seen her have many TIA's and mini strokes, become dually incontinent, limited slurred speech, unable to stand or walk. She eats some breakfast but little else....she sleeps 20 hours/day ...She often does not want to get out of bed.... they do try to get her up daily where she sleeps in her recliner.... and try to get her to meals if only to sit there... I want to thank you again for the information.... there is still much ahead... My prayers are that she will pass peacefully in her sleep...
     
  7. MsBee

    MsBee New member

    Jan 28, 2019
    4
     
  8. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    297
    Wishing you strenght..if you look on my thread ceiling of care and end coming soon it might help you..take care off yourself..and wishing your mum peace.xxx
     

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