How long .. Years and years?

[justjimjams]

I don't much at all about dementia .. But now my mother is in this home.. And she looks so frail, so 'out of it' most of the time, with small, very small snippets of semi-lucid moments... Well, will this state just go on getting worse and worse for decades... I mean, it's like a living hell isn't it? Just watching her painfully disappear ... And days when she partially takes in my visit... no real conversation.. Until I take my leave, and then she looks at me..."oh, I thought you were staying..."

How long a thing is this dementia? Does it have set stages that it has to go through till the body /mind can take take no more?

justjimjams

 

[jeany123]

Hello justjimjams I am sorry to hear about your mother it's awful isn't it, I don't think anyone can tell you how long things will go on or how long stages last, it is different with everyone, we can only hope that as it gets worse that they are at peace,

Best wishes Jeany x

 

[beech mount]

Sorry but there is no real answer to your question, all i can say is that the younger you are when you start the sooner it is over.
John.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Hello justjimjams,
Unfortunately, with dementia there isn't really a set timeline for the disease. Which disease does your mother have? Dementia is a description used for a variety of brain disorders which exhibit similar symptoms although there are different causes. Alzheimer's Disease is simply the most common disease causing dementia - about 65% of people described with dementia have Alzheimer's.

My mother was diagnosed January 3, 2001. She is now in the late stages of the disease. She is actually physically quite healthy, except for the AD. But she no longer speaks, walks, feeds herself or do anything for herself. She is doubly incontinent. But she still laughs and smiles and eats like a shark.

I expect her to live another 2 to 5 years. I see the subtle decline but really cannot say. I've also seen others who succumbed very quickly - only 5 or 6 years after diagnosis. There's no telling.

My signature sums up my thoughts on this.

 

[Witzend]

I don't much at all about dementia .. But now my mother is in this home.. And she looks so frail, so 'out of it' most of the time, with small, very small snippets of semi-lucid moments... Well, will this state just go on getting worse and worse for decades... I mean, it's like a living hell isn't it? Just watching her painfully disappear ... And days when she partially takes in my visit... no real conversation.. Until I take my leave, and then she looks at me..."oh, I thought you were staying..."

How long a thing is this dementia? Does it have set stages that it has to go through till the body /mind can take take no more?

justjimjams

I wish I knew. My mother (94 now) had had AD for several years - maybe 6 or 7 - by the time she went into the CH, and she's been there five and a half years now. She can't hold any sort of conversation, she takes no interest or enjoyment in anything (except maybe chocolate when she's awake enough), she's slumped in a chair and asleep most of the time, she's well past joining in any activities (not that she liked joining in even when she was capable), she doesn't want to go out any more, and even if she did she has forgotten how to get in or out of a car, so it wouldn't be possible for me to take her. She barely recognises any of her family except in the vaguest, most foggy way. Her physical health is good, she's not on any meds, so she just goes on and on and on, living this pathetic, pitiful shadow of a life.

Other residents come and go, they deteriorate and die, or get sick of something else and die, or break a hip and die - there is no such escape for my mother, on and on, with every shred of dignity ripped away - it is so cruel.

 

[stressed51]

Witzend just wanted to say how very sorry I am after reading your post. It is truly an awful disease, the most cruellest of all. Can't really say anything to give you any hope, just that I'm sending you my best. I always thought that dementia would only last a year or 2, 3 to 5 years at the very most, but have sadly found out this is not the case always. It can just go on and on, stripping everything away. x

 

[garnuft]

yes Witzend, I echo stressed51.

My Mam is 5 years in....do you know? I don't know how far in she is.

I know at her 80th there was a right song and dance.

Tickets for a show, parties arranged, gatherings planned.

They got stopped.

Then it began.

She is 86 this year, still in her own house but with cooker disconnected.

She dwells in nowhere land, we help to keep her there.

It's uncomfortable but if you shug up every now and then, it's bearable.

I will miss her when she's gone.

I miss her now.

 

[Witzend]

Witzend just wanted to say how very sorry I am after reading your post. It is truly an awful disease, the most cruellest of all. Can't really say anything to give you any hope, just that I'm sending you my best. I always thought that dementia would only last a year or 2, 3 to 5 years at the very most, but have sadly found out this is not the case always. It can just go on and on, stripping everything away. x

Thank you, stressed - you are very kind. Actually I am (sort of) used to it by now - I 'lost' my mother years ago so I am really past the pre-grieving process, if I can call it that.
Dementia has been such a part of my life for so long now (FIL had it first) but at least I can be thankful that we are past the most worrying, distressing stages, i.e. when you're exhausted and stressed from caring, or agonizing about whether it's time for a CH, or (when they've finally gone to one) laden with guilt because they're constantly wanting to go home. I feel so much for those who are still going through these stages, since I remember all too well what it was like.