how long should i stay

[groundhog]

Hello friends, I live with my mum who has altzy. Its very difficult Ive been with her 2 years, my children are finding it hard. My mum doesnt want us here, if I leave what would happen to her? would the council place her into a nursing home? the house is council not her own. Her main problem is short term memory loss so its impossible to leave her alone. Am I quitting to soon.

 

[connie]

Hold on - this is the guilt monster talking.

You can only do what you can. Everyone faces this journey differently. If you manage to walk away from the situation, and with a young family, who can blame you......then the Social Services will have to step in and do something.

Take things a step at a time..........talk to mum's social worker or CPN. If this is not in place, speak to her doctor first. Never, ever, feel guilty just do what you can.

Come back and talk to us soon,

 

[Michael E]

Her main problem is short term memory loss so its impossible to leave her alone. Am I quitting to soon.

I really agree with Connie... You can only do so much and if you feel you cannot continue because of what it is doing to yourself and or your immediate family then I really think you should get out. It maybe that she may well feel happier without you, however hurtful that may be.... However as Connie says you do of course need to tell the relevant people of your decision.

If you are the 'partner' of someone at the stage you discribe then I think it is much easier to see it out for longer - It is also your home - they are a permanent part of your life but even that has limits.

There is nothing wrong with saying it is time to let the Social System of the country to take over. They have a responsibility to look after her, see that the best available form of care is given to her and they will almost certainly know what that is. You have a more urgent responsibility to your children.

Michael