How long does my nan have left?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by ellieredford1, Oct 5, 2015.

  1. ellieredford1

    ellieredford1 Registered User

    Oct 5, 2015
    3
    Hi everyone,
    I'm kind of new to this, but I really would like the opinion of someone outside my family.
    Around 3 years ago, my nan was taken into a care home with early stages of Alzheimer's/dementia. At the time I was only 11 and didn't really understand what was going on. As of today, she is now drinking around 50ml of water a day and eating very little, has lost a considerable amount of weight, and isn't opening her eyes. She can't move/speak either. Over the past couple of months she has stopped eating/drinking for 3 days but then starts again a numerous amount of times.

    My parents find it hard to talk to me about it, but I would really appreciate the opinion of someone who has maybe gone through a similar experience and would know a time span?

    I would say she has had dementia now for around 7 years, but was taken into care 3 years ago. Any comments I would really appreciate, as the pain of watching her go through this is becoming very difficult.

    The nurses at the care home say that there is no idea for how long there is left, but if someone has gone through a similar experience - please comment and let me know.

    Thank you,
    Ellie :)
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Ellie, I am so sorry you are experiencing this. Every person with dementia is different and the progression of the illness is unpredictable. Sadly no one can tell you how long your
    Nan has left. My husband went through several phases as you describe and came through those to be reasonably content again.

    Obviously any fluid or calories that can be given to your Nan are good providing there is no force. I used to make jellies mixed with yoghurt which provided both some nourishment and fluid, taking them into the NH.

    The important thing is that your Nan feels loved and comforted by those who care for her. Just sitting holding her hand, maybe massaging gently with cream and perhaps with gentle music playing too; all these should help.

    Best wishes
     
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,765
    Merseyside
    Hello Ellie :)

    It's a very stressful time for you all but sadly there's no set time frame.
    Please keep posting here & we will support you.
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Ellie so sorry to read your post, this must be such a hard time for you.
    They say that the last thing to leave a person is their hearing and I agree with the previous poster that the most important thing for your Nan is that she feels loved and cared for. Even if you think she is not responding keep chatting to her, tell her about your day and maybe some memories you shared from when you were little and keep posting, we are all here for you x
     
  5. ellieredford1

    ellieredford1 Registered User

    Oct 5, 2015
    3
    Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.
     
  6. ellieredford1

    ellieredford1 Registered User

    Oct 5, 2015
    3
    Thank you so much, I will keep talking to her and I really appreciate it :) xx
     

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