4 years both my brother no 2 and I were givenpower of attorney by our parents.
Brother no 2 spent somewhere between £60,000 and £80,000 on an extension, new kitchen, conversion of old kitchen to a study, and nocking walls down to allow for a piano for his kids.
Apparently it would be best for mum and dad to live with him. I said that it wouldn't work but his words "my "wife" doesnt have a problem with mum".
Well no mum had spent the previous 20 years at their beck and call loooking after their 4 kids, cooking and cleaning for them.
But if it meant that mum and dad were being looked after I certainly was not going to put a stop to the money being spent.
Dad died three years ago and never even moved into the extension.
To cut a very sad long story short mum came to live with me and my family in January 2006, because my brother couldn't cope with mum as she was "agressive" towards my sister in law, well quite frankly by this point we were all feeling agressive towards my sister in law.
Mum was taken into hospital to be assessed, diagnosis of at the time of mild/ moderate dementia with NO agression, or paranoia.
Since mum has been with us, its not always been a bed of roses, and she has detieriorated greatly in the past three months to the point that now I have carers helping me in the morning and evening.
Since mum moved in with me I have not once asked my brother for any help whatsoever, and all he has ever done is to have mum 1 afternoon a week whenit was convenient for him. In the past two months he has now stopped having mum over at all, and just calls in and sits with mum for a while and then goes.
Whilst mum was at my brothers he had his name on mums accounts, and when she came to live with me we took my brothers name off and changed it to mine.
Last weekend my husband and I managed to get away for our first respite break since mum moved in, I arranged for the carers to move in and they looked after mum at my home.
On my return on Tuesday I received a call from mum's solicitor saying that my brother had beenin touch with him and said that mum was now not able to administer her own affairs so that his name should also be on her accounts.
Well blow me down, he doesnt want to look after mum, Took £80,000 for an extension that mum lived in for approximately a year and now wants control of the money.
Under no circumstances would I agree to joint control, I look after mum 24 hours a day for 7 days a week, and I have to go to him for money , I don't think, so I would rather the Court of Protection took over control than let him.
Luckily brother no 1 who lives in Italy is on my side, so now a solicitors meeting is to be arranged.
Then golden boy son no 2, has been into mum's bank, and told them that mum is now longer able to adminster he own affairs, and they have blocked the accounts.
So when I went to get money to pay for carers I wan't able to.
What a loving caring son he is...
Where is the justice in all this.
Would mum have given him POA had she known what he would do - well the answer is no. Because her golden boy also wanted to put her in a home which is 68 miles away....
How I wish I was an only child.
things had just settled down with mum after three stays in hospital in three months, and now I have to battle a brother whose only concern appears to be how much money he will get.
I am spending money, rental of Hospital bed £800.00, for first years, carers am and pm, to wash dress mum and put her to bed, carers to take her out during the week, daycare .......and I also need to feed myself and my family,
I wish he would go away......
Brother no 2 spent somewhere between £60,000 and £80,000 on an extension, new kitchen, conversion of old kitchen to a study, and nocking walls down to allow for a piano for his kids.
Apparently it would be best for mum and dad to live with him. I said that it wouldn't work but his words "my "wife" doesnt have a problem with mum".
Well no mum had spent the previous 20 years at their beck and call loooking after their 4 kids, cooking and cleaning for them.
But if it meant that mum and dad were being looked after I certainly was not going to put a stop to the money being spent.
Dad died three years ago and never even moved into the extension.
To cut a very sad long story short mum came to live with me and my family in January 2006, because my brother couldn't cope with mum as she was "agressive" towards my sister in law, well quite frankly by this point we were all feeling agressive towards my sister in law.
Mum was taken into hospital to be assessed, diagnosis of at the time of mild/ moderate dementia with NO agression, or paranoia.
Since mum has been with us, its not always been a bed of roses, and she has detieriorated greatly in the past three months to the point that now I have carers helping me in the morning and evening.
Since mum moved in with me I have not once asked my brother for any help whatsoever, and all he has ever done is to have mum 1 afternoon a week whenit was convenient for him. In the past two months he has now stopped having mum over at all, and just calls in and sits with mum for a while and then goes.
Whilst mum was at my brothers he had his name on mums accounts, and when she came to live with me we took my brothers name off and changed it to mine.
Last weekend my husband and I managed to get away for our first respite break since mum moved in, I arranged for the carers to move in and they looked after mum at my home.
On my return on Tuesday I received a call from mum's solicitor saying that my brother had beenin touch with him and said that mum was now not able to administer her own affairs so that his name should also be on her accounts.
Well blow me down, he doesnt want to look after mum, Took £80,000 for an extension that mum lived in for approximately a year and now wants control of the money.
Under no circumstances would I agree to joint control, I look after mum 24 hours a day for 7 days a week, and I have to go to him for money , I don't think, so I would rather the Court of Protection took over control than let him.
Luckily brother no 1 who lives in Italy is on my side, so now a solicitors meeting is to be arranged.
Then golden boy son no 2, has been into mum's bank, and told them that mum is now longer able to adminster he own affairs, and they have blocked the accounts.
So when I went to get money to pay for carers I wan't able to.
What a loving caring son he is...
Where is the justice in all this.
Would mum have given him POA had she known what he would do - well the answer is no. Because her golden boy also wanted to put her in a home which is 68 miles away....
How I wish I was an only child.
things had just settled down with mum after three stays in hospital in three months, and now I have to battle a brother whose only concern appears to be how much money he will get.
I am spending money, rental of Hospital bed £800.00, for first years, carers am and pm, to wash dress mum and put her to bed, carers to take her out during the week, daycare .......and I also need to feed myself and my family,
I wish he would go away......