Dementia/Alzheimer - call it and its variants whatever you like, but the positives are few and far whereas the negatives seem relentless. I have spent the last five years working as a lead carer in a dementia care home and have just resigned to look after my Mother-in-law who has dementia and lives with us. The residents in the home had a variety of conditions, but I don't believe any of them would want to be in their situation. Certainly most families felt their loved ones would have hated the demeaning indignities that goes with the disease, and the terrible change to personalities. Add to that the cost of care and its no wonder that relatives weep and argue and families fall apart. Get any other disease in this country and the state will cover much if the costs, get Dementia and you are on your own.
Carers in homes and in the community are often unskilled and as such underpaid. For many it is just a job. With the shortage in care staff, almost anyone can become carer. Unfortunately I have found that many of them really don't care. In the end it was a relief to leave the care home. At work I was permanently stressed and angry, seething inside at seeing the same lack of care day after day. And the residents don't complain. They can't.
Now at home looking after a MIL. I don't love her, never have. But her other children have no interest in caring. My husband and I have the space now our children have left, and felt this was the right thing to do. Isn't that what all her children are supposed to feel? In the last 18 months her health has declined rapidly - she is 89! She had a small stroke a couple of months ago, was in hospital for a couple of weeks and sent home with a bucket of medications to treat a variety of ailments. Why? She hates her current situation. She is doubly incontinent and unable to walk. Ask her and she will tell you it would be better if she were not here.
And add to the mix that I now have grandchildren, and I would love to have more time with them. I would love to have more time with my children. I hate being tied to Dementia.
It is an awful awful disease. Positives? Ha, ask me again when this is all over. In the meantime I shall carry on coping with all the negatives.
Carers in homes and in the community are often unskilled and as such underpaid. For many it is just a job. With the shortage in care staff, almost anyone can become carer. Unfortunately I have found that many of them really don't care. In the end it was a relief to leave the care home. At work I was permanently stressed and angry, seething inside at seeing the same lack of care day after day. And the residents don't complain. They can't.
Now at home looking after a MIL. I don't love her, never have. But her other children have no interest in caring. My husband and I have the space now our children have left, and felt this was the right thing to do. Isn't that what all her children are supposed to feel? In the last 18 months her health has declined rapidly - she is 89! She had a small stroke a couple of months ago, was in hospital for a couple of weeks and sent home with a bucket of medications to treat a variety of ailments. Why? She hates her current situation. She is doubly incontinent and unable to walk. Ask her and she will tell you it would be better if she were not here.
And add to the mix that I now have grandchildren, and I would love to have more time with them. I would love to have more time with my children. I hate being tied to Dementia.
It is an awful awful disease. Positives? Ha, ask me again when this is all over. In the meantime I shall carry on coping with all the negatives.