When I try to analysis the positives and negatives, it seems there is the outer and the inner effects. Outwardly and physically the negatives are overwhelming. The support is very thin indeed, it seems given with one hand and taken with another even when and if one finds it. More often one doesn't. Some has been taken away such as local transport. We have become isolated. My earlier attempts at getting a helper to do some cleaning etc. failed because the hours offered were changed to such an inconvenient and useless time. I refused to be a easy target. Physically I am worn out the effects of trying to get support, the offer of respite has faded with the suggestion of somewhere 50 plus miles away. After a phone call yesterday I felt quite drained, income was taken into account but not the outgoings, these are higher than there were as Dementia is like a cuckoo in the nest ever demanding. My own needs ignored on this occasion. My husband wobbled about day care today, so respite near home with local connections is one thing, a place far away and out of reach except by a non existent car quite another. life is fragile. I do find meaning and positives in dementia life, this is an inner action, if I did not I would not survive. I have found kindness sometimes from unexpected places, from strangers. I have found support on TP, I have found joy in small things, no holiday away but an hour taken to a place near home overlooking water was a real break last weekend. So small compared to my neighbour with his boat and a sea trip but a gem to me. I have found out more about my strengths and weaknesses. For me life has always been a journey of self discovery as life has throw brickbats and flowers. This sense of meaning in everything that happens has helped me get through many challenges over the years. For me, and I am not suggesting this as advice for others, finding some worthwhile meaning helps me cope. Others take to drink or worse.