Hi I'm also new to this site today, wish I'd found it before! My MIL has vascular dementia she was diagnosed near 6 years ago, she's still leaving at home alone and myself and my husband (and our 2 young children) are her only family and therefore are her main carers.
We recently had an assessment done by SS and now have help Monday - Friday at 9am for half an hour and again at 2pm for half an hour as she can't prepare any food and unless you tell her to eat she won't. We then go every evening and at weekends to do her cleaning, cooking, shopping and all the usual. SS have now closed the case!!
She has no long term memory and her short term memory is very limited, she can't use the phone, has no idea on time often sleeping in the afternoon waking up and thinking it's the next day and at times even goes out leaving the house open as she struggles with the keys. We got every tea time and have someone bath her once a week. She repeatedly tells us that there is nothing wrong with her and when we suggest going to care home, even for the day she says she won't.
We are having to go away for 17 days and therefore looking to put her in a care home for restbite care for this time, apart from now dealing with all the paper work & finance, we are wondering how she will cope with this. We have been told that if we take her in and one the second day wants to go home then they can't keep her in and she'll have to go home. If this happens then we will be 1000's of miles away and unable to come and get her, she won't be safe at home and we will have cancelled her day care! Has anyone experienced this problem, or tips of how to get them settled in? We are going to take her for day visits between now but worried this will make her worse.
We currently feel that we are having to deal with all of this alone and have no support. Any advice or support is welcome
We recently had an assessment done by SS and now have help Monday - Friday at 9am for half an hour and again at 2pm for half an hour as she can't prepare any food and unless you tell her to eat she won't. We then go every evening and at weekends to do her cleaning, cooking, shopping and all the usual. SS have now closed the case!!
She has no long term memory and her short term memory is very limited, she can't use the phone, has no idea on time often sleeping in the afternoon waking up and thinking it's the next day and at times even goes out leaving the house open as she struggles with the keys. We got every tea time and have someone bath her once a week. She repeatedly tells us that there is nothing wrong with her and when we suggest going to care home, even for the day she says she won't.
We are having to go away for 17 days and therefore looking to put her in a care home for restbite care for this time, apart from now dealing with all the paper work & finance, we are wondering how she will cope with this. We have been told that if we take her in and one the second day wants to go home then they can't keep her in and she'll have to go home. If this happens then we will be 1000's of miles away and unable to come and get her, she won't be safe at home and we will have cancelled her day care! Has anyone experienced this problem, or tips of how to get them settled in? We are going to take her for day visits between now but worried this will make her worse.
We currently feel that we are having to deal with all of this alone and have no support. Any advice or support is welcome