Gran has been in her NH for nearly a whole year now. I dont know where the time has gone. She has Mixed Dementia and has deteriorated slowly over that time but is still relatively fit and strong despite approaching her 100th birthday. The walks have got shorter, with more breaks, and her vision has deteriorated but she is still full of vigour. Her only real issue is her memory. It is appalling. She often forgets what she is saying before she gets to the end of the sentence.
Gran is not a sociable person, never was, and therefore has not taken advantage of the social aspects of her NH, which is a shame. Instead she relies heavily on me for amusement and visits, and a volunteer who tries to take her out for walks as often as possible. There are no other family nearby to help, and as I said she was never social so one old neighbour pops in about once a month to see her and that is it. I try and visit her three times a week.
Lately though it has become apparent to me that gran likes to moan about me behind my back (and once TO me thinking I was someone else). She will tell anyone who will listen that I am not doing enough for her, partly because she wont accept she cant live on her own anymore, she thinks I should be getting her 'out'.
Now I know this is partly her Dementia, though it's partly her ingrained complete refusal to ever open herself up to anything she might find enjoyable too. But how do other carers cope with the tarnishing of what good memories they did have with the current situation, how do you keep the two separate? I find when gran is whingy I resent visiting and want to walk away but know I would regret it if I did, but in truth I just dont like her much anymore...
Gran is not a sociable person, never was, and therefore has not taken advantage of the social aspects of her NH, which is a shame. Instead she relies heavily on me for amusement and visits, and a volunteer who tries to take her out for walks as often as possible. There are no other family nearby to help, and as I said she was never social so one old neighbour pops in about once a month to see her and that is it. I try and visit her three times a week.
Lately though it has become apparent to me that gran likes to moan about me behind my back (and once TO me thinking I was someone else). She will tell anyone who will listen that I am not doing enough for her, partly because she wont accept she cant live on her own anymore, she thinks I should be getting her 'out'.
Now I know this is partly her Dementia, though it's partly her ingrained complete refusal to ever open herself up to anything she might find enjoyable too. But how do other carers cope with the tarnishing of what good memories they did have with the current situation, how do you keep the two separate? I find when gran is whingy I resent visiting and want to walk away but know I would regret it if I did, but in truth I just dont like her much anymore...