How do you know when an AD sufferer needs full time care?

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by sammybear, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. sammybear

    sammybear Registered User

    Feb 3, 2008
    2
    Hi, this is my first time here. My Dad has been diagnosed with AD for the past 2 years. He is 62. He is single and only has my two brothers and I to help him. He currently lives independently in a flat but a part time warden is in the building every weekday morning. He can no longer drive and I am now concerned about his ability to feed himself and wash himself. I am 35 and have 3 children age 6, 3 and nearly 1. I do as much as I can for Dad but he gets flustered by the children. I used to do all his shopping and washing for him but he found this too confusing and now insists on doing it himself. I can't bear to see him looking scruffy or dirty or smelly but don't know at what point we step in and insist we re-evaluate his accomodation. He has always been very independent and he is still too aware of his condition to go into a home. He also thinks that his condition is not obvious to anyone but it clearly is. I worry that he is out and about on his own. My brothers recently took him to an international rugby game where, when visiting the loo, he missed the urinal by a foot! Does anyone know when the next steps need to happen? He can no longer read and finds the simplest tasks confusing and stressful. He doesn't know the date or the time and I can't guarantee he eats daily. If anyone has had a similar experience I would really appreciate your views. Thanks.
     
  2. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Sammybear,
    I am sorry to hear about your Father.
    Unfortunately it is time they extra help is sought.
    Does your Father have a Social Worker ?
    Can you possible take him to the Doctor's for a M.O.T. but writing everything done on a list to give to G.P.
    When they are a danger to themselves and other people and they require more Care, in my personnel experience I did a check on all Care Homes for my husband, so when the Consultant said he had to go into a E.M.I. Unit and he was 61 at the time, I had one already for him.
    Best wishes
    Christine
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,661
    Kent
    Hello sammybear, I`m sorry you are so worried about your father.

    He cannot be forced to go into a home, unless he is at risk to himself and others, and then he would be sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

    Nor can he be made to accept help, if he doesn`t feel he needs it.

    I know how upsetting it will be for you to see him looking dirty and unkempt, but he won`t come to any harm if he isn`t as clean and tidy as he used to be.

    But what you can do, is make sure he has identification on him, in case he gets lost or confused whilst he is out. The best tip I had was to get a pet disc engraved with his name, a contact phone number and the fact he has Alzheimers. Put this on his key ring, and it will give you some peace of mind.

    Has the warden in his current accommodation made any complaint about your father or expressed concern? If not, he is probably OK for the time being.

    You could also contact Social Services through his GP and ask their advice.

    Take caer xx
     
  4. sammybear

    sammybear Registered User

    Feb 3, 2008
    2
    Many thanks for your replies. I guess things must just run their course. I am looking into social services today and trying to meet with the Alzheimers Society to see what services are available in my area. Somehow I feel better doing something proactive, even though I know nothing is going to make this better.
    Thanks again.
     
  5. katherine

    katherine Registered User

    Sep 5, 2006
    57
    Hi
    My mum is single too and is now 61. She has AD although it is pretty advanced now. But she is still at home. It's definitely not the right thing to do for everyone, but it is for mum. We had agency help to begin with and now mum has 24 hour care at home. It is paid for using Direct Payments from the social services and also The Independent Living Fund. Myself and my brother have been very involved in setting all of this up and running it but i also have two toddlers and so couldn't do it all myself. At some point your dad will have to accept that he needs help at home if he's to stay at home as clearly you can't do it full time. Maybe if you just arrange some kind of carer to come in a little - and try hard to find someone who you think your dad will like - you don't even have to say it's a carer to begin with. With mum we started off with someone coming from the alzheimers society befriending scheme once a week just for a couple of hours.
    The first people we went to for help were the Alzheimers Society local branch. Also social sevices but you have to push like mad to get what you want. We have a brilliant and v helpful Community Psychiatric Nurse and we had a good OT who put the wheels in motion as far as getting us care for mum...
    I hope you make some headway - all the best
    Kate x
     

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