How do you get them to wash?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Evoque, Aug 24, 2017.

  1. Wife B

    Wife B Registered User

    Oct 13, 2017
    My husband will not wash properly or clean his teeth because he won't believe the toothbrush, razor etc. Is his because he doesn't recognise the house we live in as his, where he has lived for over 50 years. Every evening he just wants to 'go home', but he doesn't know where home is. I have to keep the doors locked because he wants to get out and gets very angry when he can't. I have tried walking him 'home' and coming back but it's not possible every evening, especially on dark nights.
  2. opaljewels

    opaljewels Registered User

    Mar 24, 2016
    I had this dilemma.
    Mum was adamant she was bathing weekly, but how the hell she got in and out of the bath was beyond me especially as it was used as storage space.
    Now it's a weekly bath/rub down using a bath seat (a godsend) - we did have a laugh when she got stuck in the bath before we had this (scared me though).
    Mum was initially distressed I had to bath her- we made a joke of it and now it's a regular weekly thing with no hassle and she enjoys a paddle in there.
    As mentioned previously the reluctance to bathe can be more to do with not being able to cope with fiddly shower, shampoo caps and the physical act of undressing / dressing.
    getting clothes on / off. She does sleep fully dressed so a weekly change of clothes is also done
    To be blunt- mum doesn't 'stink' anymore now so we are both happy (she never noticed she smelt anyway. Just have to reach the best and most doable solution really.
  3. Sammie234

    Sammie234 Registered User

    Oct 7, 2016
    I have stopped hassling now, I just say if I want to go out anywhere like town, well Im having my shower this evening so Im ready for the next day to go to town. If your coming with me can you get a shower tonight so I can make sure we catch a bus early enough it seems to work and when I change the bedding I say can you have a shower as Ive just changed the sheets. Seems to work for now.
  4. Nanawendy6

    Nanawendy6 Registered User

    Sep 17, 2014
    If husband doesn't like what I'm saying he ignores me – so almost all the time. Bearing in mind he might not actually understand what I'm saying anyway any suggestion of a shower is completely ignored. He's very stubborn. Only way I can get him to go out/see doctors etc is to tell him we will have tea and cake afterwards. I haven't found anything else that works. I don't hassle just very matter-of-factly every few months say I've left the shower on, towel on your bed at bedtime and every time he goes into the bedroom and turns shower off. Since he's often up at 5 o'clock in the morning or earlier I can't even grab him before he gets dressed. Next time he decides to stay up all night and go to bed in the morning I will suggest he has a nice relaxing shower. Only thing I haven't tried yet. I can't see how bribing him with tea and cake can work in this instance.
  5. Azay28

    Azay28 Registered User

    Nov 21, 2015
    It makes everything seem less of a burden reading how everyone has similar issues with washing. I'm still able to wash mums hair weekly at the kitchen sink even tho she pulls faces and doesn't really want to she does go along with it. Regarding showers (no bath in sheltered flat) I can only get her to have one about every 4 weeks. I have to get to her at the right time just before she gets up for the day and after some creal I get the bathroom ready and walk he'd in there and just chat and joke to persuade her to get in. I stay by the show curtain as not steady on her feet and also get her to use sea so I can lower spray to wash her hair. Only way it works for me at mo bur am glad to see others find it difficult too. You just have to be inventive and do whatever works or not !!

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