How do you answer this question ...

Sky1

Registered User
Aug 30, 2020
36
0
Trust all are well. It has been a while since i've been here and quite a lot has happened. Thanks again for the amazing support from TP members last year. Mum was increasingly at risk living alone and it became clear to clinicians that she needed to be moved into a care home Mum has been in a residential care home for a couple of months. It's been an enormous shift for her, especially given the pandemic, but she has coped amazingly. I would not say that she has settled, but she's more settled than she was. And it's this settling point i want to ask about, please.

How do you answer the question/s, can i move in with you? why do i have to stay here? and so on. I'm sure it must be very common and so i'm interested what responses people give. Do you focus on best place for company? Problems with your home, lifestyle ? or something else ?

Thank you all
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
530
0
outside UK
We still get this question and MIL been in care home for a year. Stick to the same thing each time, we just say that the doctor thought you needed a bit more help, you might get the old "but I can look after myself" but putting the onus on the authorities seems to work ok.
 

Sky1

Registered User
Aug 30, 2020
36
0
We still get this question and MIL been in care home for a year. Stick to the same thing each time, we just say that the doctor thought you needed a bit more help, you might get the old "but I can look after myself" but putting the onus on the authorities seems to work ok.

Blame the authorities, i didn't think of that. I need to wise up. I really do. thank you @Donkeyshere
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
4,333
0
Victoria, Australia
A friend's mum who has been in care for three years and now 96 years old, complains about being locked up in a prison and of course the questions are more about wanting to get out of this jail. She even talks about the "jailers".
I don't think they have found an answer that satisfies her.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
My Mum asked the same question for the first year in her Care Home. Like @Donkeyshere i used to say the Doctor says you need to stay here for a little longer. Now she no longer asks
 

sunshine70

Registered User
Jan 17, 2021
221
0
Northamptonshire
It might be a bit of a cop-out, but whenever my mum asks why she can't go back home I blame Covid.

I tell her that I know she is being looked after, and how important it is to me to know she is safe. She also has more company now then she ever had (even though my mum and dad lived in the same house they spent nearly all the time in separate rooms). I tell her that, if she was back home, Covid would mean she wouldn't be able to have lots of visitors and she still wouldn't be able to go shopping (something she loved doing) or mix with other family members. She does then say "so I'm better off here".