MIL has lived with us for 7 months, as her illness worsens her visitors have stopped, my fiancé and I have had 2 days(6 hours on each) away in that time, and after each time we've had to cope with massive depression, refusal to eat, dress, drink or wash.
I work full time, and feel like an alien in my own home as she will complains constantly that "the girls" don't keep the place clean (she is convinced she's in a care home that my fiancé owns, and that we go home, and that other people are there upstairs...). I've read about the suspicion (so many things have gone missing she says) and she now has no idea of time, day, can't follow anything on TV and refuses to visit anyone, not even her other son...who finds it hard so barely visits, not even to sit with her for a few hours so we could walk the dog together..
Her sister also has the illness, MIL thinks she's in a home for a while, when in fact she's back in hospital as the home she was in can't have her back as she wanders and is aggressive, MIL thinks she can care for her, yet refuses to visit and then won't get dressed for 5 days in case we ask her! She won't give me her laundry, she won't shower, and is now trying to hide/sneak her tablets away...
I sound pathetic, but it's so oppressive, we built her a lovely annexe, I try not to get upset when she won't eat, I have a fridge full of things to tempt her, fruit bowls and biscuit tins in her lounge, but she's barely drinking now and she's already had 2 UTI's. She's now waking up at 6.30, before it was 11, I have a son at uni, a daughter doing A-levels, and we haven't been for a meal out since January...
We're getting married in November, how do we stay away even for one night? If a health visitor arrives she is worse for days after, I don't know what we should or could do...I stay at work, I go to the gym, I walk the dog..I miss being a couple, I miss not listening for her watering the garden for the 2nd time in an hour, in her PJ's, help, please
I work full time, and feel like an alien in my own home as she will complains constantly that "the girls" don't keep the place clean (she is convinced she's in a care home that my fiancé owns, and that we go home, and that other people are there upstairs...). I've read about the suspicion (so many things have gone missing she says) and she now has no idea of time, day, can't follow anything on TV and refuses to visit anyone, not even her other son...who finds it hard so barely visits, not even to sit with her for a few hours so we could walk the dog together..
Her sister also has the illness, MIL thinks she's in a home for a while, when in fact she's back in hospital as the home she was in can't have her back as she wanders and is aggressive, MIL thinks she can care for her, yet refuses to visit and then won't get dressed for 5 days in case we ask her! She won't give me her laundry, she won't shower, and is now trying to hide/sneak her tablets away...
I sound pathetic, but it's so oppressive, we built her a lovely annexe, I try not to get upset when she won't eat, I have a fridge full of things to tempt her, fruit bowls and biscuit tins in her lounge, but she's barely drinking now and she's already had 2 UTI's. She's now waking up at 6.30, before it was 11, I have a son at uni, a daughter doing A-levels, and we haven't been for a meal out since January...
We're getting married in November, how do we stay away even for one night? If a health visitor arrives she is worse for days after, I don't know what we should or could do...I stay at work, I go to the gym, I walk the dog..I miss being a couple, I miss not listening for her watering the garden for the 2nd time in an hour, in her PJ's, help, please