The sight which greeted me yesterday, I want to un-see it. I can't face closing my eyes because the image is there. The tears well up and fall down my face.
I went into Mum's room yesterday mid-morning, the door as always was open. Mum was sitting on the side of her bed half naked. The image I saw was remarkably similar to those of the concentration camp victims. Skin, bone and no flesh to pad out the frame. She was clawing at her back with filthy nails.
I dusted her back very lightly with talc( I know that too much can irritate) and put her a clean pyjama top on and asked one of the carers to come in to change her wet pad. The soiled and wet pad was changed and she was washed, dried and creamed. She had a dry pad and clean PJ bottoms put on and I strugled to fit a pair of socks over her swollen feet, cutting the elastic and the insteps to get them over her ankles. Her bed was stripped, wiped and remade freshly.
I don't blame the girls for the state Mum was in. I know she was changed at breakfast time. I know that her hands get washed. I cut her nails as short as I can, but they grow so quickly, however she eats with her hands and of course she scratches at her skin and her nether regions. Her drawer was a bit light on clean laundry so I presumed that her soft top socks were being washed.
When I left the home, I went straight away and bought her some new socks, and I bought small man's size 6-8 because they will be more roomy than ladies' socks. I also managed to get some velcro slippers so that she might be able to wear them.
I had ordered new PJs but my supplier has just rung to say they are out of stock.
She weighs roughly 6 stones now....about 5 stones less than she did two and a half years ago. She is doubly incontinent. Her skin is so dry it is flaking. She is constantly scratching, sometimes softly sometimes not. I suppose that is down to her liver breaking up. She can only weight bear if she is helped. Her legs are bruised and scabbed from where they collide with the table leg, or even from her rubbing or scratching. I think that she is only here because she takes most of her Ensure milkshake drink and her occasional one slice of bread bacon sandwich!
I can cope with all the practical things.........but how can I un-see that image?