How do I stop worrying about it?

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by loopyloopus, May 24, 2015.

  1. loopyloopus

    loopyloopus Registered User

    May 24, 2015
    hi,I'm new here,I don't usually talk to people about Alzheimer's nobody. Know truly understands what it is.but early onset Alzheimer's runs in my family,my grandad,aunt and two uncles all had it and died before that were mum doesn't have an signs of it at present but her twin had 32 with two children and it's always worried me,but the closer I get to 40 the more I worry as that's when their symptoms started.its playing on my mum didn't want genetic testing as she would rather not know,and to be hones I think I'd rather live in hope, but m frightens me or my children will get it. How do I stop worrying about it? Sometimes. Can sleep for husband try's to help me but he hasn't seen the effects of it so he is of little help I'm afraid.any advice? X
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello Laurakay

    I know it might be easy for me to say this but you are nowhere near 40 and I hate the thought of anyone wasting years of their precious life worrying what the future holds.

    It`s good you have found Talking Point. There are many people here who have Alzheimer`s in the family and I hope they will soon come to help you.

    It might be a cliche but any one of us could be knocked down by a bus tomorrow. Enjoy your family . Stress is a health hazard as much as anything. You could be doing yourself harm by worrying so much.
  3. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    Hi Laura Kay, I'm so glad you've found TP.

    Worrying about the future is something we all do, but I try hard to only concern myself with the things I can change. If I can't change it, worrying about it only causes me stress and the outcome will still be the same!

    I know that is easy to say, but living for today is so important, otherwise you'll look back on your life and think about how you should have enjoyed those years. Enjoy your children whilst they are young, you'll never regain those years.

    As Grannie G says, you have a long time to 40. Think positive. :)
  4. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    As always, well said Grannie G x
  5. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi Laurakay, welcome to TP
    Another one agreeing with Grannie G the stress of worrying about it will do you more harm than anything else, it's easy to say but stress related illnesses are the real danger. My mother had AZ and when I looked up the elevated risk of it running in the family and it's not really that high. I lost a brother to cancer and another one died of a heart attack both before they were 50, it's hard to find a man in my family who made it to 65, my dad didn't nor either of my granddads on only 2 out of 7 uncles. Potentially I have plenty to worry about but I know the dangers of stress and just don't even think about it anymore, except for the getting run over by a bus driven by Grannie G:eek:
  6. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    Near Southampton
    #6 Saffie, May 25, 2015
    Last edited: May 25, 2015
    I agree with the others, just live your life. It's good that your mother hasn 't got dementia. My mother did have it and in her mid sixties. Her mother did too. When my husband was showing signs of it, I told the doctor that it was supposed to me this was happening to, not my husband with no member of his close family ever suffering from it.
    In like vein, my father died at 56 from a heart attack and I have passed this age some time ago.
    So you see, you never can tell.
    Try to put it to the back of your mind and concentrate on living.

    Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point
  7. mrjelly

    mrjelly Registered User

    Jul 23, 2012
    West Sussex
    #7 mrjelly, May 25, 2015
    Last edited: May 25, 2015
    There is a support group for people with familial Alzheimer's which has more detailed information. This says that "Within a single family, people tend to develop the disease at broadly similar ages" and "The disease affects males and females equally and does not skip generations.".

    The fact that your mother is still healthy past the age when your other relations were starting to show symptoms must improve the chances that she is not carrying the faulty gene and so can not have passed it on to you.

    If you are still concerned, you could ask your GP to refer you for genetic counselling with the option of a genetic test.

    When I have trouble sleeping, I often find Radio 4 podcasts of Gardener's Question Time and Farming Today are quite effective.
  8. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    I suggest trying mindfulness, google it to find out what it is, but basically it is about living fully in the present moment rather than worrying about past and future. I would also consider going to the GP to see if maybe you are depressed, depression can lead your thoughts down roads you don't want them to go.
  9. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    Sister Millicent has beaten me to it! The only way I've found of coping with the worry is to replace the worry with something else, usually a visual image.

    My garden is my outlet. Last night in bed (when things always seem bad) I replaced my worry with deciding where to plant some bedding plants I've just bought, imagining myself doing it, feeling the soil and the plants in my hands.

    When I was really poorly with anxiety I used to imagine my 'happy place' which was a particular spot in the garden that I loved.

    Or I'd concentrate on the sounds I could hear - my breathing, the clock ticking in the next room, distant traffic, etc.

    Or I'd try to think of all the theme tunes to the programmes I'd watched as a child and sing them in my mind.

    Anything to push the worry away. It really helped me, I hope my ideas help you x
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    There are lots of visual images you can use.
    Imagine going for a walk along your favourite path, or along the beach and concentrate on what you would see/hear/smell/feel.
    My favourite exercise is to imagine my fear/problem being tied up into a parcel and being attached to a helium balloon. I them mentally toss it up into the air and watch it float away up, up into the sky getting smaller and smaller as it gets further and further away.
  11. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    I had a very similar image, canary - in my mind I would see myself writing my worries onto helium balloons, then I'd go for a walk and release them, watching them float away up into the sky, my worries with them.

    Great minds think alike!

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