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How do I stay strong and not cry?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by CG1, Jan 7, 2016.

  1. CG1

    CG1 Registered User

    Dec 12, 2015
    3
    My Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2013 but I truly believe that the disease had started making its intrusion into our lives much before then.
    Gradually Mum has deteriorated and this week we are now at the beginning of our next phase. She has advanced Alzheimers.
    Mum collapsed this week because the drugs she's been taking for high blood pressure were prescribed to her when she was 2.5st heavier than she is now.
    Dad - who is her main carer and has been truly amazing has now finally broken under the pressure and has called for help!
    Mum is still relatively young and was diagnosed in her late 60's.
    My sister lives close by but I live over 200miles away.
    I am currently on a train home to see my family and meet with social services to discuss next steps!
    I know as soon as I see my Dad and sister I will get tearful and all I want to do is be strong!!
    Any suggestions..
    CG1
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    You can still be strong even if you’re tearful. The tears show how upset you are, they don`t weaken you. xx
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,540
    Female
    South coast
    Hello CGI and welcome to Talking Point.
    It sounds like your mum has reached a crisis and crises are always emotional. Dont worry about crying when you arrive - I think it is only natural. To get through times like that I often try and dissociate myself from what is going on and just concentrate on the job in hand. That way I can postpone the tears until later, but not everyone can do this.

    I think it likely, in view of the fact that your dad is saying that he can no longer cope, that your mum will get a period of respite in a care home while they sort out her meds and your dad can have a rest before deciding what to do next. Advanced dementia is incredibly hard to look after and really tiring, so I expect that your dad really needs some respite. I do hope they manage to sort your mum out.
     
  4. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    You'll find you have more strength than you thought possible. And it's all right to cry, as GrannieG says, it shows how much you care.

    Sorry your mum and dad have reached this point....just having you there will help your poor dad. Sending a big hug and lots of sympathy.
     
  5. CG1

    CG1 Registered User

    Dec 12, 2015
    3
    Thank you for your kind comments.
    Next stop is me and in preparation I have disengaged by asking a close friend to send me a poem he wrote as a child which he performed once after a few glasses of wine in a packed Chinese restaurant. Makes me laugh every time I think of it!
    The proverb is very apt as I work in the footwear industry!!
    And if I do have a tear or two - it's not so bad!
    I'll let you know how I get on.
    Thank you again.
     

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