Just thinking some more
Ronpaul,
There is no reason why you and your friend can't still go for dinner. If you are a driver, you will have to pick her up and choose a place nearby.
We recently took my mother for lunch on Mothers Day. Me, hubby, two daughters and their boyfriends. She hadn't a clue where she was, thought my dad was there too (died 3 years ago), but thought it was lovely and talked about it for weeks afterwards.
She will probably enjoy going for lunch or dinner (probably lunch is better now) (but she might not agree at first). Your problem is going to be conversation. She isn't going to be the same lively interesting person you once knew (although if you can think of some episodes from 30 years ago, you never know!). Make a list of things to talk about beforehand, and if you know anything about her childhood, bring those up too. It is therapeutic to AD suffers to use their brains in whatever way, so dig up some old stories and old questions. They might not be topics you would previously have covered, but hey, what the hell? Say, "Remind me again what your dad's name was. What did he do for a living?", or "didn't your brother serve in the Air Force in WW2" (it doesn't really matter whether he did or not. If she remembers, she'll correct you. If she doesn't, she might look rather blank. That is a problem I have with my mother. If I ask her about something she isn't sure about, she totally blanks out. So be prepared to change the subject. Such as, "oh my brother served in the Air force in WW2, weren't they all brave?".
Yep, it may be hard work, but you'll have done three things. You'll have given her husband a break for a couple of hours, you'll have given her some mental stimulation (and you will never know what benefit that has been to her), and you'll feel that you have tried to help. Which is all you can do.
And if you can't keep the conversation going, don't worry. My mum spends long periods with no conversation and it doesn't bother her. And don't worry about asking the same question again - she probably won't remember you already asked it.
BUT, I must add, that I am new to all this, and I am happy for my advice to be taken with a pinch of salt. Two years down the line I might be able to be more helpful, so at the moment these are just my thoughts.
I wish you every success.
How kind to be thinking about this so much that you have come onto this website to ask advice about your friend. She is a lucky lady.
Good luck
Margaret