• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

how do i move in with my mother

ringo565

Registered User
Oct 9, 2013
2
0
london
Im looking for some information regarding my motherwho has dementia . I been trying to help to look after her . but I rent in south London and mother lives in north London in sheltered housing . I spend all my spare time with her which makes it hard for me . As I don't even have time to look after myself , like washing my clothes an etc. So I thought it would be easier if I lived with my mother in north London .
Does any one have any information regarding how I would go about this , or does any one have any experience of this . Thankyou for any help .
 

1954

Registered User
Jan 3, 2013
3,835
0
Sidcup
Hi and welcome to TP

I too live in South London and my MIL lived in North London. She has dementia and I was run ragged by travelling up there on my days off from work to try to sort the mayhem that was constantly happening. So my hubby and I just moved her to live with us. It is very difficult but I could not continue as before. Could she move in with you?
 

1954

Registered User
Jan 3, 2013
3,835
0
Sidcup
Oh just realised she is in Sheltered accommodation so would you be allowed to move in with her? What about carers going in, would that be an option?
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,791
0
Hertfordshire
It might depend if it is rented or privately owned sheltered housing.

I live in privately owned sheltered housing and visitors ( which is what you would be regarded as) are only allowed to stay for a certain length of time.

I know oone resident who had live in carers, but as they only stayed a few weeks and then changed this was allowed, It is in case a " right to live there" is created that causes the problem.

If you hgave up your flat in South London and moved in with her, if she had to go into permanent care or when she dies you would be left high and dry without a roof over your head.

If it is rented then I would think there are very strict rules about that too.

Also there is an age restriction in most sheltered housing, and you may well not qualify there either.

Jeannette
 

artyfarty

Registered User
Oct 30, 2009
267
0
London
Hi Ringo - it might be easier to move to a rented place near her instead of actually moving in with her. You wouldn't have the commute and you'd have your own place to go back to. I am living in my mums house with her and it means there is never a break from being around her - can be super stressful and sometimes just plain tedious!
 

stillcaring

Registered User
Sep 4, 2011
215
0
I agree - I live 1/3 of a mile from my mum and my aunt lived in the house before she did. It's ideal. I am currently doing 4 or 5 visits per day, and if necessary can stay to see her in bed, come home, sleep in my own bed and be back there before she wakes up. It also means that some of her neighbours dog walk past my house and can alert me if they see anything unusual. My son gets the bus to college every day with a boy whose aunt lives opposite my mum so I get to hear things that way too.

I could not live with my mum. Partly because she would rifle through my things and damage them because she cannot leave anything alone. She does things like rearranging bananas and bruising them when she visits and it would drive me mad if she lived here.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
4,322
0
Midlands
Everyone needs their own space. Move near to her, but not with her - if you qualified , your own place in the same block would be ideal, otherwise as close as is practical. I live 5 mins walk, (2 mins run!) from my very dependant mother,
Like above I do 5 calls a day + 2 carer calls.

I really do appreciate my own space, Mum isn't an interferer either, she just sits. We bring her here when she's up to it, change of scenery etc.

We have given up a lot to be with mum, our 'own space' was essential.

If you really feel the need to share, make sure whatever you find is big enough.