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How do I help my nan?


Registered User
Aug 13, 2014
My Grandad had Alzheimer's and my nan who is currently his sole carer, has been coping okay, but recently, it is getting worse and worse and he now believes my nanny is his sister and that they are living in his mothers house. He is living in an era just before he met my nan, which is really what we hoped wouldn't happen.

She puts on a brave face, but has since confided that she is devastated that she is losing the love of her life and her best friend and she is now living with a stranger. Like most cases, he has his good days and his bad days. Good, being when they have to arrange a tree surgeon coming round and him agreeing to this and being more than happy. Bad, being when the tree surgeon arrives, he has forgotten the agreed and chases them off the property screaming and shouting, with my nan, who he believes is his sister chasing after him trying to remind him that they are meant to be there!

She recently convinced herself to try and take him on a short 5 day break to where they used to holiday in Suffolk, she had many sleepless night over the stress of trying to arrange this but finally convinced herself to give it a go as it may be their last chance whilst he still on occasion remembers his life. This turned out to be a big mistake and disorientated him completely. He is now at the point of not knowing his wife, children or grandchildren any more and is asking where his family that passed away many years ago were. My nan had to show my Grandad their wedding video to convince him that they were married, he then asked if they were separated now, to which she informed him that they weren't and that they were still "theoretically" happily married.

I need some advice on how to comfort her and how to talk about this situation, she knows I am there for her, but she is so kind that I sense she doesn't want to burden me. Help me. I feel like I always say the wrong thing :(