how do i help my depressed mum? dad just diagnosed

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by pixie54, Nov 27, 2015.

  1. pixie54

    pixie54 Registered User

    Nov 27, 2015
    1
    Please can anyone help. My Dad has just been diagnosed. They are down sizing and moving nearer to be but my poor Mum is just so sad ( but putting a brave face on)
    - i don't know what I can do to help her and I don't know where to go for help.
     
  2. tigerqueen

    tigerqueen Registered User

    Mar 11, 2014
    75
    Essex
    Hi Pixie. I remember only too well how sad I felt when my husband was first diagnosed. I probably spent the first 4 years crying as I felt the loss of my best friend, and the changes in our relationship. It might be helpful for your mum to speak to her doctor as she might be clinically depressed. I also found it helpful to have some counselling sessions where I could cry to my hearts content as I didn't feel comfortable in doing this in front of my family. As well as the doctor being able to refer fior counselling, my local alzheimer's society has information about free counselling too.
    Having a caring daughter like you will be a real comfort to your mum. Good luck getting help for her. X
     
  3. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012
    1,085
    Brazil
    Support her. Help her contacting SS, sorting POA and wills.
     
  4. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    You will find lots of help here pixie, for your mum and dad and also for yourself. There are a whole series of factsheets which would be a good start, but just come on to the forum and ask whatever you need to as there is a wealth of support and kindness here.

    It's an incredible shock to receive the initial diagnosis and reading others threads can be very frightening, but do remember that everyone is different. Your mum must be so frightened too, but having you to support her and to be able to answer her questions and share her fears will be a great help to her. xxxx
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    So sorry Pixie, this is a good place to be for advice and support xx
    A good place to start is
    Dementia Helpline 0300 222 1122 can provide information, support, guidance and signposting to other appropriate organisations.

    The Helpline is usually open from:
    9am - 8pm Monday to Wednesday
    9am - 5pm on Thursday and Friday
    10am - 4pm on Saturday and Sunday

    and also not connected to this google your local carers organisation - they are excellent for support for your mum - usually a local carers cafe where you can have coffee and a laugh and everyone understands what you are coping with so you can choose to talk about it or not. Really great places - you could go with her maybe the first time too.

    Ask social services for a carers assessment and really important get the Attendance Allowance forms filled in - non means tested so your mum has a right to it whatever.

    A matron once told me - get things in place early on even if you don't think you need them because later it becomes more difficult for the person to change anything - so right

    Good luck, keep posting xxxxxxxxxxx
     

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