How do I help Mum?

[Michele]

Hi,

As you know, dad passed away 2 months ago.

Mum is going through a very low point at the moment. She doesn't want to really do anything, she moans all the time that she is bored, she keeps going on about where she used to live and wishes she was back there, and she is really angry at times.

I know it is early days and that she is grieving, and I fully understand that. I am being very patient with her and giving her lots of love and attention. She is becoming more forgetful and is repeating herself more than ever.

I fully understand what grieving is like, obviously having lost my dad, and then last year I lost my mother-in-law.

I feel so sad. I want to help mum more and try and understand what to say or do. Do I get help myself in trying to understand, and if so where? When mum is like this it makes me low, and is just don't know what do to. I know time is a great healer, but what can I do now for her.

Love
Michele xx

 

[christine_batch]

This may help ?

Dear Michele,
When my 11 year old Grandaughter lost her other Grandmother, my youngest daughter went for Councelling. A couple of months later my 8 year old Grandson lost his other Grandmother so eldest daughter took the family to Councelling. Although your Mother may not want to go perhaps you would benefit by going yourself and they do give really great advice.
I hope this helps. Best wishes. Christine

 

[Skye]

Dear Michele

Your mum is still grieving for your dad, it's very early days yet. It's very hard to join new societies or take up new interests on your own, having always been on of a couple. I know, having already been widowed once.

Could you perhaps find something your mum would enjoy, and go with her a few times, just until she gets to know people?

Counselling is a good idea, for both of you, but really, a counsellor will encourage your mum to find ways to meet people, and you can do that for her.

Is she in touch with her local Alzheimer's Society, or Princess Royal Trust? Both of these will still support her, our local branches have support groups and social events for the bereaved.

If she needs someone to talk to, I'd recommend the local Samaritans centre. They're only a phone call away, and they're wonderfully supportive. You don't have to be suicidal to call them.

And well done to you for supporting your mum at this time. I know it's hard, when you're grieving yourself.

Love,