1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

How do I get my Dad to listen

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by taylorcat, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. taylorcat

    taylorcat Registered User

    Jun 18, 2006
    171
    W.Scotland
    As you know my Mum is in respite. When my daughter went to see her tonight my Mum told her she was scared to drink the apple juice my Dad left as she thinks somebody may be putting something in it. Of course I had to tell my Dad in case the paranoia was coming back. He was all for running straight down. I told him this would do no good.

    He phoned the home who said she had been eating and drinking all day normally. So I told my Dad she was saying this hoping that he would say he was bringing her out.

    His response was he doesn't think she's that clever to work that out. What can I do.
     
  2. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    How do I get my Dad to listen?

    Your Mum is probably confused and insecure and may want some extra attention. My Mum said all kinds of things that weren't really true, like she hadn't been given anything to eat or she hadn't had a wash or she hadn't seen anybody for days. It seems to be part of the illness and they do forget a lot of things. Mum is suspiscious of her next door neighbour in the NH, but I don't think she has done anything wrong to deserve it. Maybe blaming someone else for things you don't understand is a way of coping.
    Do you need to tell your Dad about the apple juice? By the time he sees your Mum she'll have forgotten about it and moved on to something else. I tend to just listen to Mum and agree or say that I'll talk to the nurses and she is usually satisfied with that.
    Kayla
     
  3. taylorcat

    taylorcat Registered User

    Jun 18, 2006
    171
    W.Scotland
    Kayla, thanks for replying. The reason I had to tell my Dad was because my Mum was previously admitted to a psychiatric ward with paranoia. She was then put on Olanzapine which helped and she was discharged. Last Tuesday her Olanzapine was reduced from 10mg to 5mg because she was slurring her speech and the doctor was concerned about this. I'm worried the paranoia is rearing it's head again as this is how it started before and I had to tell him. I wouldn't normally have mentioned it but we'll have to speak to the doctor again tomorrow. I just wondered if it is coming back or if this is her way of getting my Dad to take her out of the care home.
     
  4. tedsmum

    tedsmum Registered User

    Jun 28, 2006
    34
    Hi
    Just wanted to let you know that my dad is behaving in the same way. I visited him today and he was telling me that a drug dealer,another resident was asking him for money and could I bring in £600,000 next time I visited ,I swing from finding it funny to desperately upsetting. He also tells me everyone is stealing from him and he doesn't want to eat the food as it is poisoned. The paranoia is now getting worse and everytime I visit him I take a deep breath and deal with it as best I can.
    Thinking of you please don't think you're on your own

    Christine
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Don’t worry soon your mum will be home again

    If your mum is in respite, she is going home anyway. May be visiting her while she in respite is not a good idea it could make her more confused, its s meant to be a break for all of you, even if your mum does not live with you
     

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