How do I get him to wash?

[sister support]

This will not asnwer the question but it hopefully offers a different perspective from the inside as it were (I have alzheimers)

I increasingly prevaricate regarding having a shower. IT is sometimes lunch time before I sort myself out - or indeed have to be reminded to have a shower. I hate actually getting in the shower and the water never seems to be the right temperature. I have difficulty with the controls. I hate getting dried and dressed afterwards and get muddled with clothing.

This is a woman who willingly plunges into an unheated outdoor unchlorinated spa pool on a nearly daily basis, and swims for over an hour at a time. I ask myself what the difference is. Well, a shower is something that has to be done and gives me no reward. A cold swim invigorates, is a social event and does me good. I do not have to get dressed afterwards - I use a swimming robe

A shower is a mere inconvenience disrupting both train of thought and routine. I don't expect people to understand - there is no sense or reasoning with many things these days.

Pre-diagnosis I showered with impunity.

I know myself it’s an inconvenience to shower in the morning without the added complications you may have. Thanks for sharing, any insight is helpful.

 

[Ellek]

Thank you and it’s nice to see you are successful with your brother. I think my problem is that I am his younger sister - only by a year but the status is there and he hates being told what to do my his little sister. He doesn’t believe his clothes are dirty even though he has worn the same ones for weeks and refuses to let me wash them for him. The only way to wash his clothes is to sneak them away without him realising which isn’t an easy task. I’m kind of giving up now. I’ve tried everything I can think of and he just refuses and gets angry with me. It’s a shame but all I am doing is making us both miserable.

Today he will have his hair washed because I am taking him for a haircut and I will ask them to wash it and give him a shave too. At least that’s something.

You sound like you are doing a sterling job with your brother. Well done it’s tough.

Hi
Don't give Up! People are surprisingly kind and accepting.There are so many twists and turns and things change. I get his hair washed at the barbers as well when I can't when he needs a shave or haircut. He had a dentist appointment today. I could not get him washed or changed so I said that's that sprayed a little cologne on him and that was that. Washed or not we go out.
He might be afraid of water or slipping.

please google Teepa Snow she has a vast amount of youtube videos that might help you out along this journey.

You are a good sister to take on such an enormous responsibility. Remeber to take care of yourself.

 

[sister support]

Hi
Don't give Up! People are surprisingly kind and accepting.There are so many twists and turns and things change. I get his hair washed at the barbers as well when I can't when he needs a shave or haircut. He had a dentist appointment today. I could not get him washed or changed so I said that's that sprayed a little cologne on him and that was that. Washed or not we go out.
He might be afraid of water or slipping.

please google Teepa Snow she has a vast amount of youtube videos that might help you out along this journey.

You are a good sister to take on such an enormous responsibility. Remeber to take care of yourself.

Thank you it’s so good to hear how you manage. Yes I will try and spray him (and my car after he’s been in it ) Thank goodness he’s not incontinent … or have I got that to come?

The good news is he had an air purifier fitted this week so I’m hoping his flat will smell a bit nicer now

 

[Ellek]

Thank you it’s so good to hear how you manage. Yes I will try and spray him (and my car after he’s been in it ) Thank goodness he’s not incontinent … or have I got that to come?

The good news is he had an air purifier fitted this week so I’m hoping his flat will smell a bit nicer now

Hi,
Unfortunately I am at the stage where he has "accidents" he has not made it to the bathroom in time. It isn't pleasant to deal with but I try to remain calm and soothing. I talk through the door and get him into the shower. Once he's in, I remove the clothes to deal with later. Once showered (he won't get his head wet). I then get him into the bath and he lets me wash his back and hair sometimes with a fight other times he let's me. Once out I have a hot chocolat made for him and music on to help him feel better.

There are depends for men that I have for him but he says that he's not there yet. I've invested in more underwear for him so that I don't have to deal with some of the messes. I also have a prescription for loperamide (imodium) in the morning blister pack of meds as he won't take anything other what the doctor has prescribed.

I carry a change of clothes when we are out and have a change of clothes ready at home to put in the bathroom when needed.
I also ask at different times of the day if he has to go the the bathroom.

Not going to lie It isn't easy. I just do what I need to do.

 

[sister support]

Hi again and thank you for sharing this is really helping. Do you mind me asking how long since diagnosis?

My brother has only been 1 year since diagnosis and he’s still living independently with one visit from carers a day for food and meds. His main problem is memory so far which we are finding ways of coping with as we go along but hearing your experience makes me really think hard about the reality of coping when he progresses to where you are. Only really because I have no room for him at mine and I don’t think he could cope on his own like that.

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job he is so lucky to have you alongside.