How do I get dad into a care home?

[23rdTurnoff]

Hi all
My dad is 93 and living alone, having just lost his main carer.
His AD has now gone much worse and to me he definitely needs a care home, but whats the procedure?
He doesn't have much money - well below the means test limit.
I'm waiting for a social services assessment but its too slow in coming.
Can his GP determine that he needs a care home, and help him get one?
Should I be trying to book him in somewhere myself and let him pay until his money runs out? would the SS take over then?
Would a care home want to see proof of funding before admitting him?
Any advice gratefully recieved!

 

[amelia jones]

When my nan took a turn for the worst local social services took her in care and the assessment came in due course, think it took a couple of weeks.

Don't be concerned about costs at this stage - it is more important to get your dad safe and secure - you know if he is at risk more than anyone.

It is true that moving people with dementia and AD can create complications but their primary care is the immediate concern.

It would be sensible to get your dads care sorted first but you must be aware of the legal issues relating to costs a close second.

Best wishes with dad.

 

[23rdTurnoff]

Thanks Amelia...

I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Exactly how did you get the SS to 'take her into care'??
I can't seem to get our lot interested at all, which is why i was thinking of jumping the gun myself.

 

[chucky]

Hi, phone the SS tell them your dad is 93 has just lost his partner and you have a CRISIS on your hands as there is no one to care for him and he is at RISK as he is unable to look after himself. Tell them you are waiting on an assessment being done but his circumstances have now changed and you need EMERGENCY respite NOW BECAUSE YOU FEAR FOR HIS SAFETY and there is absolutely no one that can help you. You will have to make them listen and make sure you use the words i have highlighted. Do it asap and let us know how you get on. Good luck.

 

[amelia jones]

Good call Chucky...

I would even tell them he is unsteady on his feet... just to prompt things along!

I found out who was in charge at SS in Grimsby and sent them an e-mail. Making it personal seems to get things done!!!

 

[Christin]

Hello, I am sorry to read about your dad, and the loss of his friend. It must be very upsetting for all of you. I read your previous thread at the weekend and I am sorry that he has not yet received any support.

I have included a link here to an AS factsheet which might offer you some help and advice.

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/document_pdf.php?documentID=124

In the case of an emergency I would contact the duty officer at your local SS office for adult care. Do stress to them how concerned you are, that you fear for his safety.

Best wishes to you all.

 

[jenniferpa]

What Chucky said.

Sadly the squeaky wheel etc, is very relevant. You cannot overstate this. In no circumstances even imply that you could take up any of the slack. If, by any chance, he is bothering his neighbours, get them to call as well.

 

[23rdTurnoff]

thanks again..

Once again, many thanks to you all.
It's the funeral on thursday (dreading that - he keeps forgetting she's died) so i don't want push anything before then, then more bank holidays of course, but after that i will blitz everyone with the info youve given me and keep pushing.
cheers for now
Bill

 

[jenniferpa]

Bill - with all due respect, I would NOT wait. Waiting, even if it seems reasonable, sends entirely the wrong message about this. At the very least you need to fire off an email to social services at the earliest opportunity (i.e. today or tomorrow). You don't have to contact everyone this week but you need to be able to say next week "well I contacted you last week and you did nothing and now it's even worse if that's possible".

 

[ChristineR62]

Dear Bill

I was virtually at breaking point, trying to care for my mum. She had a week's respite, courtesy of the social worker as soon as she got involved in Mum's case. When Mum came back home (I picked her up from the home on the Tuesday at tea-time), I was all prepared to start caring again, having had a week's break.

On Thursday morning, just a couple of days later, I was on the phone to the social worker in tears, as I could take no more - I'd come home from work on Wednesday night and found Mum asleep in her chair in the front room, and the shower going at full blast. I had reason to believe that the shower had been going for at least an hour.

On Saturday morning - less than a week after Mum came home from respite - I took Mum to the home where she has been resident ever since. All of this happened just before Christmas 2009, and to be brutally honest, I didn't think I could survive through Christmas and New Year without having a breakdown.

The point of all this is to let you know the importance of setting the ball rolling sooner rather than later, and never mind the bank holidays. I was going to wait until after Christmas and New Year for the exactly the same reasons - then I realised that I couldn't last that long, I had already reached my breaking point and it would take next to nothing to tip the scales. The squeaky wheel does get the oil provided the squeak is loud enough, and for me, the loud squeak was being on the phone to the social worker in tears.

I hope you can get help soon.

Love
Christine
xxx

 

[chucky]

Hi Bill, im with jennifer on this one, do it as soon as you can because if they can turn round and say to you, who's been caring till now and you say I have, they will try and get you to continue until his assessment. Dont give them an inch, it needs to be done right away before something bad DOES happen. Make sure you tell them its at CRISIS level and you have no one else to turn to. Its difficult having to make heartbreaking decisions for our loved ones but you have to, for his safety and your own peace of mind.x